It seems like the only time that you and your partner get aroused anymore is when things are definitively going to lead to great sex.
According to sex therapist Dr. Stephen Snyder, this is where married couples often make a huge mistake and ruin their chances of having a better sex life with their spouse.
Arousal doesn’t have to begin and end with sex. In fact, he says that the happiest couples make it a point to get each other excited, even when there’s not going to be any sex involved that’s how they maintain a great sex life.
Dr. Snyder also stresses that it’s important to realize that arousal doesn’t have to always lead to sex and it’s a common mistake that many married people and long-term couples make.
Think about your sex life. When you or your spouse feel aroused, either of you may initiate the first stages of sex. Kissing, touching, holding each other, or even using a little bit of dirty talk. But once you’ve finished with sex, oftentimes that’s the extent of your intimacy together. And then, it becomes a big cycle of repeating these same behaviors, where you’re not enticing one another at all except when you hope that it leads to something more.
By exploring arousal with your partner but never reaching orgasm, you’re building excitement between yourselves constantly, keeping the low-burning flame of your passion going so that you and your spouse can share that experience together without really decreasing your want for one another.
If you and your spouse are waiting to see each other all day, lingering in moments where you can really “simmer” together, then you’re going to slowly stoke a fire of passion that won’t easily disappear, even once you’ve had sex.
This could be done before you go to bed, or perhaps before one or both of you leave for work in the morning. Maybe even when you’re sitting on the couch watching a show, or maybe when you’re making dinner. You could even find discreet ways to simmer together when you’re out doing errands too.
It’s all up to you on how, where, and how much time you want to devote to one other. It’s all about being together and keeping the connective spark of sexual energy between you.