1 00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:51,749 In New York City, there's a fine line between law and chaos. 2 00:00:51,851 --> 00:00:54,615 On that line live Danson and Highsmith. 3 00:00:57,857 --> 00:01:00,348 Tell me again why I decided to get on this roof! 4 00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:04,730 I think you can chalk that up to bad life choices. 5 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,040 Get rid of that asshole. 6 00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:24,083 - Uh-oh! - I hate it when you say "uh-oh!" 7 00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:36,561 Dude, you put a ding in my hood! 8 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,658 Come on with it, then! 9 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:49,070 Whoa, hey! 10 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,280 That's trouble. 11 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:15,423 Did someone call Nine-One-holy-shit? 12 00:02:25,778 --> 00:02:27,678 That's it. I'm sick of all this running. 13 00:02:35,588 --> 00:02:36,680 Hang on! 14 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:53,072 You have the right to remain silent! 15 00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:56,200 But I wanna hear you scream! 16 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:12,783 Down on the ground! 17 00:03:13,092 --> 00:03:15,287 Detective! Yeah, yeah! Detective! 18 00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:18,021 One at a time, all right? 19 00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:22,391 Yeah, Detectives, Rick Grayson, New York Observer Online. 20 00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:25,436 These suspects were caught with only a quarter pound of marijuana, 21 00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:26,937 a misdemeanor in some states. 22 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,271 Do you think this arrest was worth $12 million in property damages? 23 00:03:30,476 --> 00:03:33,707 Why don't we let New York City answer that question? 24 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:36,271 The greatest city on Earth, yeah! 25 00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:42,819 Hi, Sarah Gapone from TMZ print edition. 26 00:03:42,922 --> 00:03:46,483 Danson, are the rumors about you and Kim Kardashian true? 27 00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:48,151 No comment. 28 00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:49,993 But, yes. 29 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:55,056 Danson and Highsmith, free hot dogs for life! 30 00:03:58,504 --> 00:04:02,668 No drinks. No drinks. I can't do it. I can't do it. 31 00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:08,470 Danson and Highsmith shoot, drive, and sex with style. They're rock stars. 32 00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:11,573 Then you got your jokers, your ball busters, your vets... 33 00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:14,585 ...and the other guys. 34 00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:20,516 We know, we know. We know. 35 00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:22,788 All right, all right, all right. Listen up, listen up! 36 00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:26,423 We're having a celebration tonight at Butter. 37 00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:29,093 Brody Jenner's gonna be there. Bai Ling. 38 00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:31,966 - That little short bitch from Jersey Shore. - Yeah! 39 00:04:32,038 --> 00:04:35,132 And most of you are on the list. 40 00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:37,142 You're the best. 41 00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:39,178 Guys, I'm gonna say something right now. 42 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,645 It's about a man who came from Austria with a dream. 43 00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:44,547 - Arnold Schwarzenegger! - Let me finish. 44 00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:47,017 He became a champion and then a movie star, all right? 45 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,281 - Arnold Schwarzenegger! - God damn it, let me... 46 00:04:49,355 --> 00:04:51,289 They ruined the story. They ruined the story. 47 00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:52,984 Let... What... The point is, 48 00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:56,153 we couldn't do our job if it weren't for you guys doing all the paperwork, 49 00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:58,527 answering the phones, and all that stupid shit that we don't like to do. 50 00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,622 All the gun fights, all the car chases, 51 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:04,568 all the sex we don't wanna have with women, but we have to, 52 00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:08,334 all due to what you guys do. Thank you. 53 00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:09,670 And we'd do it again and again. 54 00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:12,040 Hey, you shut your face! 55 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,339 If we wanna hear you talk, 56 00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:16,314 I will shove my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet! 57 00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:18,074 You hear me? You hear me? 58 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,551 - Cash bar. - Yeah. 59 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,484 Peace out, bitches. 60 00:05:23,856 --> 00:05:26,825 Hey, fellas. All right, bring it in. 61 00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,383 Come on. Bring it in a little bit. 62 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,652 All right, right there. 63 00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:32,698 Just back up, just like right there. 64 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,392 All right, just one... Just a... 65 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,230 There you go, right there. Right there. 66 00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,896 This is their paperwork. You know they're not gonna do it. 67 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:43,203 That's right. This paperwork is like Bob's wife here. 68 00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:46,939 It's thick, ugly, got Danson's fingerprints all over it. 69 00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:48,445 - No offense, Bob. - That's all right. 70 00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:50,675 - Anyway, now who wants it? - I do! 71 00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:53,412 All right! Paper Bitch and Yankee Clipper on the case! 72 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,586 - Nice work. Thanks, Allen. - Thank you, Captain. 73 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:56,950 "I'll do it! I'll do it!" 74 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,126 Stop humming that song! 75 00:06:09,969 --> 00:06:12,961 - I can hum if I want to. - No, I know you can. 76 00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:14,300 I'm asking you to stop. 77 00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:16,632 - Well, if you're asking, then I'll stop. - Thank you. 78 00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:23,740 Could you not smile like that? 79 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:27,650 Now you're asking me to mask my emotions because of how it makes you feel. 80 00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:29,551 That I will not do. 81 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:36,226 Seriously, stop humming! Okay? 82 00:06:36,295 --> 00:06:38,320 This isn't accounting or wherever the hell 83 00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:41,764 you and your little pocket calculator were transferred from. 84 00:06:41,834 --> 00:06:44,803 Forensic accounting, okay. And it's an important part of the job. 85 00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:48,965 Yeah, whatever. Stop being so overtly happy about doing shit work, you moron. 86 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,940 Hey, guys. Reminder. 87 00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:54,241 The police union picnic's coming up this weekend. 88 00:06:54,313 --> 00:06:58,943 My wife's making her famous deviled eggs, again. My waistline's furious. 89 00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:00,417 It's a bad time, Bob! 90 00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:03,515 All right. 91 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,182 Going to get a slice. 92 00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:18,633 You know what I just did? 93 00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:21,002 I just walked out that door, saw a couple detectives, 94 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,598 and I was about to start bad mouthing you behind your back, 95 00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:25,871 but I stopped myself, because my pops taught me 96 00:07:25,978 --> 00:07:28,606 that a man who talks behind somebody's back is a coward. 97 00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:29,875 Wow, I actually appreciate that. 98 00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:31,779 Good, 'cause I'm gonna tell you directly to your face. 99 00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:34,615 - No. You don't have to. - No, I don't like you. 100 00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:36,120 I think you're a fake cop. 101 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:39,955 The sound of your piss hitting the urinal? It sounds feminine. 102 00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:42,790 If we were in the wild, I would attack you. 103 00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:47,561 Even if you weren't in my food chain, I would go out of my way to attack you. 104 00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,225 If I were a lion, and you were a tuna, 105 00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:51,929 I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you! 106 00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:55,397 And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend. 107 00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:59,842 Okay, first off, a lion swimming in the ocean? 108 00:07:59,912 --> 00:08:01,106 Lions don't like water. 109 00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:05,244 If you'd placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that'd make sense. 110 00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:07,883 But you find yourself in the ocean, 20-foot waves, 111 00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:09,717 I'm assuming it's off the coast of South Africa, 112 00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:15,356 coming up against a full-grown, 800-pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends? 113 00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:16,588 You lose that battle. 114 00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:19,597 You lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what? 115 00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:23,965 You've wandered into our school of tuna, and we now have a taste of lion. 116 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,470 We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated. 117 00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:27,732 - Yeah? - And said, " You know what? 118 00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:30,970 "Lion tastes good. Let's go get some more lion." 119 00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,637 We've developed a system to establish a beachhead 120 00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:36,647 and aggressively hunt you and your family. 121 00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:38,910 And we will corner your pride, 122 00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:40,885 - your children, your offspring. - How you gonna do that? 123 00:08:40,953 --> 00:08:44,548 We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. 124 00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:47,115 We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. 125 00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:51,663 It's not gonna be days at a time, but an hour, hour 45, no problem. 126 00:08:51,764 --> 00:08:54,426 That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, 127 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:57,594 go back to the sea, get more oxygen, and then stalk you. 128 00:08:57,670 --> 00:09:01,162 You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and outmanned. 129 00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:07,238 Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? 130 00:09:07,313 --> 00:09:08,439 Nope. 131 00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:17,614 Two minutes before the markets open, 132 00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:20,955 Pamela Boardman, CEO of Lendl Global, ringing the opening bell. 133 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,628 With Boardman is investment banker, David Ershon, 134 00:09:23,696 --> 00:09:27,154 who manages 40% of Lendl's $70-billion equity pool. 135 00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:30,099 How much did we lose? 136 00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:32,467 You may ring the bell now, Ms. Boardman. 137 00:09:32,538 --> 00:09:34,631 - $32. - Million? 138 00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:36,937 No, billion. 139 00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,478 Shit! 140 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:45,650 Chinatown. Three Triad gang members. I popped two of them off the draw. 141 00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,513 - Bang, bang. - Yeah. 142 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,212 Then I raise up to take the leader out. 143 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:50,812 Shit, I feel like I'm there now. 144 00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:53,085 I hear a whistle. My partner's on the roof. 145 00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,490 He says, "Let's even the odds!" 146 00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:59,993 He tosses me down a Mossberg pump. I send one through his chest. 147 00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:02,557 Game over, bitches. 148 00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:06,332 - All right. - Yeah. 149 00:10:07,306 --> 00:10:11,936 Jimmy? Let's talk about how that story made you feel. 150 00:10:12,511 --> 00:10:14,001 Like my cock was made out of concrete. 151 00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:17,248 I know it's very tempting. 152 00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:19,411 You want to impress your friends. 153 00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:22,076 But this is serious stuff we're dealing with, okay? 154 00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:25,589 This is firing your weapon in the line of duty. 155 00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:26,749 Officer Hoitz? 156 00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:28,724 Oh, man. 157 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:29,954 - Come on! - Here we go. 158 00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:31,428 Would you like to share? 159 00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:32,656 No, I'd rather not. 160 00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:35,399 Officer Hoitz, you've been coming here for six months now, 161 00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:37,264 and you haven't said a word. 162 00:10:37,336 --> 00:10:39,702 This is a safe room, no judgment here. 163 00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:40,864 Jerkoff. 164 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:43,238 That's judgment, Jimmy. Come on. 165 00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:44,835 I relive it every night. 166 00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:48,112 Bronx, October. 167 00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,011 Game 7 of the World Series. 168 00:10:50,082 --> 00:10:53,347 For all the marbles. High pressure, unruly crowd, and I pulled tunnel duty. 169 00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:56,252 I mean, I saw a shadowy figure in the tunnel. I told him to stop. 170 00:10:56,355 --> 00:10:58,255 Whoa, whoa, whoa, this is a restricted area! 171 00:10:58,357 --> 00:10:59,688 Finally pulled my gun. 172 00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:01,056 Pulled a deadly weapon. He started running at me. 173 00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:03,027 Don't make me shoot! I'll do it! 174 00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:06,128 Are you deaf? You hear me yell, "Freeze"? 175 00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:09,360 You dick! I'm Derek Jeter! You shot me! 176 00:11:09,435 --> 00:11:12,199 - You cost me 20 grand on that game! - Douche bag. 177 00:11:12,271 --> 00:11:13,738 Cost the city a championship. 178 00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:16,138 I was being groomed for a top position in homicide. 179 00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:19,105 Now I'm stuck with a desk jockey partner. Everybody calls me the Yankee Clipper. 180 00:11:19,211 --> 00:11:20,872 Because you shot Derek Jeter! 181 00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:22,243 He's a biracial angel. 182 00:11:22,314 --> 00:11:23,975 You should've shot A-Rod. 183 00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:32,955 Yo, Paper Bitch. 184 00:11:33,325 --> 00:11:34,986 - What's up, man? - Hey. Hey, guys. 185 00:11:35,094 --> 00:11:36,789 - Paper Bitch. - Paper Bitch. 186 00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:37,954 I don't like that, actually. 187 00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:39,827 I know you guys think it's fun, but I don't like that name. 188 00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:41,490 Still working on the Danson and Highsmith paperwork? 189 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,659 - Shit. - No, actually, actually, that's... 190 00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:45,134 What is this? That looks stupid. 191 00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:48,832 Guys, it's illegal permitting for construction. Specifically, scaffolding. 192 00:11:48,941 --> 00:11:50,465 Some of the guys were talking. 193 00:11:50,776 --> 00:11:53,336 They were like, "How come you've never fired your weapon in the office before?" 194 00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:54,140 Good point. 195 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,211 I'm sorry, I don't follow. 196 00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:57,748 You've never fired your weapon in the office. 197 00:11:57,850 --> 00:11:59,977 We all have, you know. It's called a desk pop. 198 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:02,748 Fellas, look, I know you don't respect me as a police officer. 199 00:12:02,855 --> 00:12:03,981 - Not true. - I'm not stupid. 200 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:06,524 I'm not gonna discharge my firearm in the office. 201 00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:08,184 Gamble, listen to me. I'll try to make it real clear. 202 00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:12,424 We honor the flag, and you crap on it when you don't shoot your gun in the office. 203 00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:14,590 Jimmy. When's the last time you had a desk pop? 204 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,327 September '08. 205 00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:18,765 - Be a man. Do it. - Now. 206 00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:20,532 - Please, please, do it. - Pop one off! 207 00:12:20,606 --> 00:12:22,699 - There you go. Pop it off! - Don't think, just go! 208 00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:24,333 - Here we go. - Do it, yes. 209 00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:27,003 He did it! 210 00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:28,944 Hey! Shots fired! 211 00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:32,176 Hey, Terry, I did it! I did my first desk pop! 212 00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,243 It's a real thing, right? 213 00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:35,843 - A desk pop? - Yeah. 214 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:37,047 No, that's not real! 215 00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:41,082 They were so convincing in their argument, they swung me. 216 00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:45,927 All right, Allen, you're gonna have to hand over your gun. 217 00:12:46,031 --> 00:12:47,123 Yes, sir. 218 00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:51,226 Captain, you really wanna disarm this guy, take out the batteries in the calculator. 219 00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:54,704 All right, I'm gonna give you this. This is a dummy gun. I use it for ceremony. 220 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,934 There. 221 00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:00,871 You get this back when I feel you know how to handle it. 222 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:05,143 Listen, guys. I'm working two jobs. I'm working here. 223 00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:08,414 And I got another job at Bed Bath and Beyond. Okay? 224 00:13:08,487 --> 00:13:11,115 I'm doing that just to put a kid through NYU 225 00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:14,956 so he can explore his bisexuality and become a deejay. 226 00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:18,485 Now the last thing I need is a ballistics report in the unit. 227 00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:20,963 I'm just gonna ask you guys, please, come on, really. 228 00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:22,796 Just think about... Just be smart. 229 00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:53,798 211 in progress. 230 00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:56,960 They're using a wrecking ball to clean out Castien Jewelry. 231 00:13:57,036 --> 00:13:58,469 All right, we got it. 232 00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:00,869 - Good luck, guys. Have a good one. - Allen, let's go. 233 00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:03,840 - No, I got work to do. - What? This is work! 234 00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:07,504 Hey, yo! Danson and Highsmith. We roll in heavy. 235 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:08,911 You cream puffs, sit tight. 236 00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:10,345 You gotta be shitting me! 237 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,512 You can't keep me cooped up in here, okay? 238 00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:16,680 I am a peacock! You gotta let me fly! 239 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,057 Did he just... Did he just call himself a peacock? 240 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:29,829 Let's go! Let's go! 241 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:33,930 Come on, fellas! 242 00:14:34,173 --> 00:14:36,573 Wednesday night is taco night at Rikers Island! 243 00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:52,049 That's the second one this week! 244 00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,417 Hey, you monkeys! Stop! 245 00:14:56,095 --> 00:14:57,221 Let's go! 246 00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,121 Yeah! 247 00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:00,892 Heads up! 248 00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,359 Shit. 249 00:15:16,448 --> 00:15:17,540 Special Forces zipline. 250 00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:19,913 Cut that line! Cut it! Let's go! 251 00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:23,417 - These guys are pros. - Let's go! 252 00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:24,888 You thinking what I'm thinking, partner? 253 00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:26,583 Aim for the bushes. 254 00:15:54,186 --> 00:15:57,849 Cops still argue to this day why Danson and Highsmith jumped. 255 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:01,916 Maybe it was just pride, having survived so many brushes with death. 256 00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:04,155 Maybe their egos pushed them off. 257 00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:06,959 I don't know. But that shit was crazy. 258 00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:11,765 Either way, there was a hole in New York City, and it needed to be filled. 259 00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:14,135 Two days ago, this city wept. 260 00:16:14,206 --> 00:16:18,165 We lost two heroes who gave everything for us, 261 00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:23,180 who paid that ultimate sacrifice so that we may walk these streets safely. 262 00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:25,674 There wasn't even an awning in their direction. 263 00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:27,945 - No, I know. - They just jumped 20 stories. 264 00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,351 Doesn't make sense, does it? 265 00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:33,323 I only hope God lets them take their.357s with them to heaven. 266 00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:36,725 It's our moment, Allen. Our moment to step up and be the guys. 267 00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:39,891 - We're at a funeral. Show some respect. - What? 268 00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:43,225 You don't think every other detective here isn't thinking the same thing? 269 00:16:46,038 --> 00:16:48,131 Allen, listen to me. Danson and Highsmith are gone. 270 00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:51,199 Their desks are empty. Someone has to fill those seats. 271 00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:54,837 That someone is us, okay? The city's dying for a hero. 272 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,670 - Is it? - Yeah. 273 00:16:56,749 --> 00:17:00,378 What about nine million socially-conscious and unified citizens, 274 00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:02,215 all just stepping up and doing their part? 275 00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:04,551 As a little kid, didn't you dress up and play cops and robbers? 276 00:17:04,656 --> 00:17:06,817 I'll tell you what I did as a little kid. 277 00:17:06,892 --> 00:17:09,224 I went to school and made my bed. 278 00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:11,922 And at age 11, I audited my parents. 279 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:15,330 And believe me, there were some discrepancies, and I was grounded. 280 00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:17,266 What the hell are you? 281 00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:20,338 Well, well, well. What do we got here? 282 00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:24,502 Look at these two jamokes, would you? One shot Jeter and the other shot an office. 283 00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:30,510 Have some decorum. We're at a funeral. 284 00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:32,777 You wanna dance, brolio? 285 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:37,117 I will rock your body with big, nasty hooks. You'll be pissing blood out of your ass. 286 00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:38,280 That's horrible. 287 00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,550 Why don't you step back, man? 288 00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,092 You touch him, I swear to God 289 00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:43,024 I'm gonna beat the shit out of you with Allen's head. 290 00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:45,620 He's not gonna do that. That's hyperbole. But that's a weird example. 291 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,528 - You wanna go? - I wanna go! 292 00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:50,299 - Get him off. - Kick his ass, Martin. 293 00:17:50,936 --> 00:17:52,130 Yeah. How do you like that? 294 00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:55,063 - Pull his hair! - I love it. 295 00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:56,935 This hurts so good. 296 00:17:57,876 --> 00:18:00,037 - Very sorry for your loss, ma'am. - What a lovely hat. 297 00:18:00,112 --> 00:18:01,670 I love your shoes. 298 00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:03,771 - It's fine, it's fine. - Go, go. 299 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:05,542 Punish him! 300 00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:07,642 Oh, man. 301 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,288 Do it. That's how we do it in the hood. 302 00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:11,583 - Punish him. - That's not even a move. 303 00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:15,123 I'm the winner. I'm the winner, everybody saw it. 304 00:18:15,227 --> 00:18:17,195 What the hell is going on here? 305 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,321 Two good men are dead, 306 00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:22,492 and you guys are fighting over who's gonna be the next hotshot? 307 00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:23,694 Is that what's happening? 308 00:18:23,802 --> 00:18:25,326 Yes, that's exactly what's happening. 309 00:18:26,572 --> 00:18:28,062 Let me tell you something. 310 00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:30,071 - Sorry for your loss, Lorraine. - Very sorry. 311 00:18:30,576 --> 00:18:32,476 - Sorry, Lorraine. - Sorry, Lorraine. 312 00:18:33,011 --> 00:18:34,308 Hi, I'm Jimmy. 313 00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:37,175 - Too soon? - Why'd you say that? 314 00:18:37,749 --> 00:18:39,341 I'll tell you something about those guys. 315 00:18:40,385 --> 00:18:44,014 They knew that to become a good cop, you had to solve cases. Okay? 316 00:18:44,823 --> 00:18:48,088 Okay, and maybe you start with the Castien robbery. 317 00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:50,757 Okay? So just watch it. 318 00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:53,931 Next time, me, you, library. 319 00:18:54,032 --> 00:18:56,159 - Not even close. - Come on, guys. Guys, come on. 320 00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:58,836 - You are... - I'm the winner! 321 00:18:58,904 --> 00:19:02,169 I didn't need you to stick up for me, okay? I could've handled that myself. 322 00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:05,938 Hey, don't flatter yourself. It's the partner's code. I had no choice. 323 00:19:06,044 --> 00:19:07,272 Move. 324 00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:19,451 - 9:15, let's have a great day, everybody! - Cut the shit! 325 00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:27,659 Good morning. 326 00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:31,833 We've got shots fired. 509 East 10th Street. 327 00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:33,838 There are large amounts of cocaine on the scene. 328 00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:35,032 Try to stay out of trouble, boys. 329 00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:36,801 There's no chance you'd wanna go on that call, right? 330 00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:38,706 No chance. Too busy. 331 00:19:38,977 --> 00:19:43,346 All right, ladies. Starting to get the picture? We're about to lock shit down. 332 00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:45,406 - That's right. - You girls stay here and get your type on. 333 00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:47,417 Go get them, guys. Lot of energy, lot of focus. 334 00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:48,645 Shut up! 335 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,984 Allen, could I see you in the hallway for a second? 336 00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:52,523 I... I'm super busy right now, Terry. 337 00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:54,491 No, no, no, I know. This'll be real quick. 338 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,425 It's about the construction permits you were talking about. 339 00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:58,519 - The scaffolding violations? - This is our thing, yeah. 340 00:20:00,165 --> 00:20:01,723 So, what do you got? 341 00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:04,324 I got this! I'll put one right in your neck. 342 00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:05,495 What are you doing? 343 00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:08,267 Let's go. We're going to that call. 344 00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:09,931 - What is this? - Shut up. 345 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,374 We're going to the car, and we're going after this case. 346 00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:13,877 - You're not gonna shoot me. - I won't? 347 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,413 - No. - I shot Jeter. 348 00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:17,675 - That was an accident. - Was it? 349 00:20:17,749 --> 00:20:19,273 - Now move. - Okay. 350 00:20:20,018 --> 00:20:21,349 Hey. 351 00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:24,617 Does anybody see this? He's got a gun on me. 352 00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,520 I'm being kidnapped. 353 00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:29,686 Really, we're in a police station and no one is interested in this? 354 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,295 - So, then what happened? - What do you think happened? 355 00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:35,764 I woke up, I took the belt off my neck, and I got in my car, and I got out of there. 356 00:20:35,867 --> 00:20:37,391 Talk about a wild weekend, right? 357 00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:40,768 I thought I was gonna have to shoot my way out. 358 00:20:40,872 --> 00:20:43,033 What are you gonna do, though, you know? Bar mitzvahs. 359 00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:47,275 What the hell is this? 360 00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:50,075 It's my car. It's a Prius. 361 00:20:50,148 --> 00:20:53,811 I feel like we're literally driving around in a vagina. 362 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:56,752 Detective Hoitz and Gamble are on that 518 on East 10th. 363 00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:58,915 Negatory, Martin and Fosse, two minutes out. 364 00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:00,720 We'll just see who's there first. 365 00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:03,488 You stay out of our crime scene! You hear me? 366 00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:05,220 Go, go, go! 367 00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:08,327 You feel that, Allen? That tingling in your balls? 368 00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:10,298 Big metal butterflies fluttering around in your stomach? 369 00:21:10,402 --> 00:21:11,994 Are you sure you don't have testicular cancer? 370 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,129 I got something to get you going. 371 00:21:16,975 --> 00:21:19,136 Let's go do some damage! 372 00:21:20,579 --> 00:21:21,807 Nope. 373 00:21:24,149 --> 00:21:25,309 What the hell is that? 374 00:21:25,651 --> 00:21:27,778 LRB. Little River Band. 375 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,452 This music makes me feel like I'm going shopping for a training bra. 376 00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:33,257 You know what? We go with no music, okay? 377 00:21:33,325 --> 00:21:34,451 - Fine. - Say bye. 378 00:21:34,526 --> 00:21:35,652 No, no, no, don't say bye... 379 00:21:35,761 --> 00:21:37,456 You just signed your own death warrant, Hoitz! 380 00:21:37,529 --> 00:21:40,760 Allen, punch that accelerator or I will shoot you in the foot! 381 00:21:40,832 --> 00:21:42,265 America! 382 00:21:42,601 --> 00:21:44,865 Allen! Allen, hit the brake! 383 00:21:45,871 --> 00:21:48,635 Seriously, slow the car down! We're approaching the crime scene! 384 00:21:48,707 --> 00:21:49,799 Terry, I'm coming in. 385 00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,706 You're gonna smash right through the tape! Allen! 386 00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:53,477 Dude! What... 387 00:21:58,684 --> 00:22:00,811 That's a lot of cocaine. 388 00:22:01,787 --> 00:22:04,779 Did you yell "America" when you hit the accelerator? 389 00:22:04,856 --> 00:22:06,653 Nope. No. No. 390 00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:09,691 I've never actually put my foot all the way down 391 00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:13,692 to the ground with the accelerator like that. 392 00:22:14,866 --> 00:22:17,164 It got me slightly aroused. 393 00:22:19,705 --> 00:22:21,297 Here we go. 394 00:22:23,375 --> 00:22:26,833 Way to put your stamp on the crime scene, guys. 395 00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:29,346 - Prius, huh? - Yep, yep. 396 00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:30,676 Good mileage? 397 00:22:30,749 --> 00:22:32,148 - Outstanding. - Yeah. 398 00:22:32,217 --> 00:22:34,811 Did this come with a dental dam? 399 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,420 - No. - Get it? 400 00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:40,892 My Suburban shit one of these last night. 401 00:22:40,992 --> 00:22:42,584 I didn't know they put tampons on wheels. 402 00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,356 We've had our fun, huh? 403 00:22:45,430 --> 00:22:48,399 Looks like Scarface sneezed on your car. 404 00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:50,259 All right, everybody! 405 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:53,395 I'm gonna need you all to back up now. We're taking over. 406 00:22:53,505 --> 00:22:55,905 "At the crime scene, LOL." 407 00:22:56,007 --> 00:22:57,702 - Good tweet, good tweet. - Yeah, thanks. 408 00:22:58,076 --> 00:23:01,842 America has always been defined by its excess. 409 00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:05,516 The Grand Canyon, professional sports contracts. 410 00:23:05,584 --> 00:23:08,018 Wendy's Baconator, extra bacon. 411 00:23:08,086 --> 00:23:11,954 I myself have 18 Lamborghinis 412 00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:15,059 and a Subaru station wagon. 413 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:18,261 And it's because of this excess that I have flourished. 414 00:23:18,363 --> 00:23:21,958 I implore you, please, do not stop profiting. 415 00:23:22,067 --> 00:23:25,764 Live for excess. It's the American way. 416 00:23:32,310 --> 00:23:33,607 Hello. 417 00:23:34,312 --> 00:23:37,475 Mr. Ershon? I believe this call's for you. 418 00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:42,045 Sir David. 419 00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:45,749 David. You're not returning my calls, so I'd like you to meet Roger Wesley. 420 00:23:45,824 --> 00:23:47,451 - G'day, mate. - Hey. 421 00:23:47,893 --> 00:23:50,157 Roger and his team are gonna babysit you because I don't trust you, 422 00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:51,524 because I think you're going to take off. 423 00:23:52,297 --> 00:23:55,095 Pamela, this is ridiculous. I'm not going anywhere. 424 00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:57,601 David, listen, the Lendl quarterlies come out on the 26th. 425 00:23:57,669 --> 00:24:00,502 You have until then to give me my money. I'm not reporting any losses, David. 426 00:24:00,605 --> 00:24:02,436 I have zeroed in on a new investor. 427 00:24:02,507 --> 00:24:05,533 Well, then, you get their money, make it disappear, and then pay us back. 428 00:24:05,644 --> 00:24:08,943 Yes, yes, I'll tell him he doesn't need to keep watching me. 429 00:24:09,014 --> 00:24:11,505 - David! - Okay, sweetheart, bye-bye. 430 00:24:11,616 --> 00:24:15,985 Yeah. She overreacted. She's a woman. So, you're good to go. 431 00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:17,513 Heard everything, mate. 432 00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:18,881 Ladies and gentlemen, 433 00:24:18,990 --> 00:24:23,484 guess who gave me the secrets to making my first billion dollars. 434 00:24:25,397 --> 00:24:26,864 That man there. 435 00:24:27,666 --> 00:24:29,657 Go! Go! 436 00:24:29,968 --> 00:24:31,799 - Side! - Step aside, please. 437 00:24:32,571 --> 00:24:34,334 You don't think I'm a real cop, do you? 438 00:24:34,406 --> 00:24:36,670 No, I don't. I've said that directly to your face numerous times. 439 00:24:36,741 --> 00:24:37,867 I was really honest about that. 440 00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:40,467 I'm working on a huge case, all right? 441 00:24:40,545 --> 00:24:42,672 Property owner with seven buildings under construction. 442 00:24:42,747 --> 00:24:45,875 He hasn't applied for a single scaffolding permit. 443 00:24:45,984 --> 00:24:49,920 Now, according to Ask Jeeves, this perp is at the Plaza Hotel speaking right now. 444 00:24:50,021 --> 00:24:53,718 - That's your big case? Scaffolding permits? - Yeah. 445 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:57,055 Guess what? You're coming with me. 446 00:24:57,829 --> 00:24:59,729 It's a wooden gun. 447 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,065 That hurts, man! 448 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:10,206 I've always got Little River Band loaded up here. I've got six disks in here. 449 00:25:11,042 --> 00:25:14,205 Claude, meet me outside, at the back of the service entrance. 450 00:25:14,279 --> 00:25:16,747 I'm flying Air Singapore. 451 00:25:16,848 --> 00:25:18,543 - Hey, Douglas. How's the wife? - She died. 452 00:25:18,617 --> 00:25:19,709 Attaboy! 453 00:25:19,784 --> 00:25:21,752 I'll be there in two minutes exactly. 454 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:25,515 Another thing I hate about you? You always pay in exact change. 455 00:25:25,590 --> 00:25:27,888 You're just mad because I have a nice change purse. 456 00:25:27,959 --> 00:25:29,085 Why do you even care? 457 00:25:29,194 --> 00:25:32,129 How can I help it? You know what? You know what's worse? 458 00:25:32,230 --> 00:25:34,255 The way you fart. Even your farts, they're not manly. 459 00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:35,458 You're being ridiculous. 460 00:25:35,567 --> 00:25:38,127 They sound like a baby blowing out the candles on a birthday cake. 461 00:25:38,236 --> 00:25:39,533 - What? - Like a little... 462 00:25:39,604 --> 00:25:41,469 - You know what bugs me about you? - What? 463 00:25:41,573 --> 00:25:42,904 I'm pretty sure you've never voted. 464 00:25:42,974 --> 00:25:46,307 No, I vote. Sports radio, AM 880. Play of the week. 465 00:25:46,411 --> 00:25:48,743 You're like a child in a leather jacket. That's what you're like. 466 00:25:48,813 --> 00:25:49,905 Get out of the way, man! 467 00:25:49,981 --> 00:25:51,881 Wait. Are you David Ershon? 468 00:25:52,450 --> 00:25:55,248 Yeah, well, it's Sir David Ershon, but I don't bother with the... 469 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:58,585 Anyway, little bit of a rush, gentlemen, if you don't mind. Thank you. 470 00:25:58,657 --> 00:26:01,922 - Excuse me, but you're under arrest, okay? - What? 471 00:26:01,993 --> 00:26:06,930 You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do or say can be used... 472 00:26:06,998 --> 00:26:09,125 - What's the next part? - As a floatation device. 473 00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:10,724 As a floatation device. 474 00:26:10,802 --> 00:26:14,329 You know what? That's very funny. I have never Miranda-ed anyone before. 475 00:26:14,439 --> 00:26:16,236 - Really? - Are you guys for real? 476 00:26:16,308 --> 00:26:17,400 Am I being punk'd? 477 00:26:18,543 --> 00:26:19,840 Detective Allen Gamble. 478 00:26:19,911 --> 00:26:22,846 We are in a cocaine-covered car, and we are bringing in a perp. 479 00:26:22,948 --> 00:26:25,746 - One David Ershon. - 175 pounds. 480 00:26:25,817 --> 00:26:27,842 - Thank you. 175 pounds. - Shut up, man, shut up! 481 00:26:28,086 --> 00:26:31,852 Martin and Fosse are probably on Studio B talking to Shepard Smith right now. 482 00:26:31,957 --> 00:26:34,790 We arrest this jerkoff for a scaffolding permit? 483 00:26:34,859 --> 00:26:37,089 Wait, wait, wait, what am I being arrested for? 484 00:26:37,162 --> 00:26:39,027 For scaffolding permit violation... 485 00:26:48,039 --> 00:26:49,939 - I got my insurance card. Somewhere. - Easy, mate. 486 00:26:50,008 --> 00:26:52,374 - What the hell? You ran right into us! - Stand over there. 487 00:26:52,944 --> 00:26:54,002 Wood? 488 00:26:54,546 --> 00:26:55,672 What the... 489 00:26:55,780 --> 00:26:57,543 - Couldn't see the car. It's big enough, mate. - What? 490 00:26:57,649 --> 00:26:59,276 Do not let these men take me. 491 00:27:01,052 --> 00:27:02,144 Hi. 492 00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:04,778 Why's she looking at you like that? 493 00:27:04,856 --> 00:27:06,346 That's my car! 494 00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:10,189 Hey, hey, hey! We didn't exchange insurance information! 495 00:27:10,562 --> 00:27:12,120 Hey! Excuse me! 496 00:27:12,998 --> 00:27:15,398 Why did they take our shoes? 497 00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:18,901 - What the hell just happened? - Where's my iPhone? 498 00:27:20,071 --> 00:27:22,198 I think we've walked 30 blocks, man. 499 00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:27,335 I don't get why we can't just call the office and have a squad car come pick us up. 500 00:27:27,412 --> 00:27:29,903 No. They took our shoes, our guns, and our car. 501 00:27:30,015 --> 00:27:31,642 There's no way that's going out on the radio. 502 00:27:32,017 --> 00:27:35,145 Look, if we're gonna do this together, there's some issues we need to settle, okay? 503 00:27:35,220 --> 00:27:38,815 I mean, you said I had a weak chin. You said the way I pee is feminine. 504 00:27:38,890 --> 00:27:40,084 How do you think that makes me feel? 505 00:27:40,191 --> 00:27:45,254 I mean, that list you have, you put a lot of thought in. It's weird. 506 00:27:45,363 --> 00:27:47,593 I hear you. 507 00:27:47,699 --> 00:27:52,432 Let's clean the slate right now. Fresh start. 508 00:27:52,537 --> 00:27:55,165 All right. Fresh start. 509 00:27:56,875 --> 00:28:00,436 Maybe we should call ourselves the Febreze Brothers, 510 00:28:00,545 --> 00:28:02,103 'cause it's feeling so fresh right now. 511 00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:04,740 Right? 512 00:28:05,050 --> 00:28:07,917 Let's do another fresh start, 'cause I just wanted to punch you in the face. 513 00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:10,781 Fine, fresh start. 514 00:28:10,889 --> 00:28:12,686 It's the last one. 515 00:28:12,757 --> 00:28:14,691 I have to be able to express myself and say things, you know. 516 00:28:17,629 --> 00:28:20,393 - Okay, folks! Everybody, listen up! - Listen up! 517 00:28:20,465 --> 00:28:22,399 Got a high profile kidnapping. 518 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,933 David Ershon, wealthy banker, multinational team. 519 00:28:26,037 --> 00:28:28,062 Maybe a sleeper cell, but it's too early to tell. 520 00:28:28,139 --> 00:28:32,576 Hey, Bilbo Baggins. Where are your shoes? 'Cause your feet are black. 521 00:28:32,644 --> 00:28:34,635 Who cares? It's not important, okay? 522 00:28:34,746 --> 00:28:37,271 Hoitz, Gamble, Captain. Not good. 523 00:28:39,217 --> 00:28:40,878 - Bye, guys. - Bye-bye. 524 00:28:40,952 --> 00:28:42,044 Come on. 525 00:28:42,487 --> 00:28:45,650 Guys, this is Don Beaman, the attorney for Mr. Ershon. 526 00:28:45,757 --> 00:28:47,884 Roger Wesley, head of his private security. 527 00:28:47,959 --> 00:28:49,893 - Hey, how are you? You son of a bitch! - Hey, hey, hey! 528 00:28:49,961 --> 00:28:51,724 Hey, Terry! Take it easy! 529 00:28:51,796 --> 00:28:53,764 - That's the guy who took our guns, Captain. - And my shoes! 530 00:28:53,832 --> 00:28:56,892 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Did you identify yourselves as police officers? 531 00:28:56,968 --> 00:28:58,060 What is this? 532 00:28:58,136 --> 00:29:00,468 - Allen, tell me. Did you? - No, we did not. 533 00:29:00,572 --> 00:29:04,565 Sorry, gentlemen. We thought you were abducting Mr. Ershon. 534 00:29:05,110 --> 00:29:06,270 It's only protocol. 535 00:29:06,478 --> 00:29:11,108 Mr. Ershon has agreed to correct this scaffolding situation. The case is closed. 536 00:29:11,182 --> 00:29:13,673 I've taken care of all necessary paperwork. 537 00:29:13,785 --> 00:29:15,878 And you fellas, at this point, should just be glad that 538 00:29:15,987 --> 00:29:19,479 Mr. Ershon is not pressing charges for excessive use of force. 539 00:29:19,557 --> 00:29:21,024 - Thank you, Captain. - You bet. 540 00:29:21,559 --> 00:29:23,151 Australian? 541 00:29:23,228 --> 00:29:24,661 Special Forces, right? 542 00:29:25,029 --> 00:29:27,554 Best watch your step, Detective. 543 00:29:27,665 --> 00:29:30,361 There are three things I love in this world. 544 00:29:30,468 --> 00:29:31,526 Kylie Minogue, 545 00:29:33,138 --> 00:29:35,902 small dimples just above a woman's buttocks... 546 00:29:36,007 --> 00:29:37,372 Beautiful features. 547 00:29:37,475 --> 00:29:40,205 ...and the fear in a man's eye who knows I'm about to hurt him. 548 00:29:40,311 --> 00:29:44,839 Hey! Shake your dicks. This pissing contest is over. 549 00:29:44,916 --> 00:29:46,247 Come on, man. 550 00:29:48,820 --> 00:29:51,914 All right, look, they returned your shoes. 551 00:29:52,357 --> 00:29:56,589 And they returned your weapons. Here you go, Terry. 552 00:29:58,196 --> 00:30:00,892 Allen, someone was nice enough to put linseed oil on it, 553 00:30:00,999 --> 00:30:03,832 some kind of stain on that, dark walnut or something. 554 00:30:03,902 --> 00:30:06,496 You might wanna think about dropping them a thank you note. 555 00:30:06,571 --> 00:30:07,697 Okay. 556 00:30:07,772 --> 00:30:08,898 You're mad at us, huh, Gene? 557 00:30:09,007 --> 00:30:12,704 First off, don't call me Gene. I'm your captain. 558 00:30:12,777 --> 00:30:15,371 Guys, do you remember the "Be Smart" speech? 559 00:30:15,446 --> 00:30:16,572 - Sure. - All right. 560 00:30:16,681 --> 00:30:19,275 Well, what did you do? What'd you do about it? 561 00:30:19,384 --> 00:30:22,182 The opposite. We were not smart, Captain Gene. 562 00:30:22,253 --> 00:30:24,221 It's just "Captain." 563 00:30:24,289 --> 00:30:27,349 Just "Captain." It's not "Captain Gene." I don't have a kiddie show. 564 00:30:27,425 --> 00:30:29,052 That sounds creepy, "Captain Gene." 565 00:30:29,460 --> 00:30:33,521 Police mistakenly arrest investment banker, David Ershon. 566 00:30:33,598 --> 00:30:36,533 Was he the victim of financial profiling? 567 00:30:36,601 --> 00:30:41,300 Financial profiling? That's crazy. He broke the law and we arrested him. 568 00:30:41,406 --> 00:30:45,467 That wasn't a security team. He said, "Don't let these people take me." 569 00:30:45,577 --> 00:30:47,977 I mean, when you hear hooves, you think horses, not zebras. 570 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:51,077 What about donkeys or deer? 571 00:30:51,149 --> 00:30:53,117 They have hooves. What about bovine creatures? 572 00:30:55,119 --> 00:30:57,246 Were you just thinking to yourself, "Fresh start"? 573 00:30:57,322 --> 00:31:00,291 - Yeah. - Yeah. I could see it. 574 00:31:00,391 --> 00:31:02,450 Listen, why don't we just go over to my place? 575 00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:03,891 We'll talk the case down. 576 00:31:03,962 --> 00:31:05,987 We can have a little dinner. You can meet Sheila. 577 00:31:06,097 --> 00:31:08,793 Two cops talking down a case while eating food, all right? 578 00:31:08,900 --> 00:31:10,060 - It's not dinner. - Fine. 579 00:31:10,134 --> 00:31:11,931 And let me apologize in advance, okay, 580 00:31:12,003 --> 00:31:14,403 in case my wife acts like a world-class bitch. 581 00:31:14,472 --> 00:31:19,671 She's a big old broad, and she likes to wield it. 582 00:31:20,345 --> 00:31:25,681 Okay, so I put together a little bio, complete with pictures of Mr. David Ershon. 583 00:31:25,783 --> 00:31:29,184 I used Adobe Premiere. I like to do a little weekend editing. 584 00:31:29,287 --> 00:31:32,848 I recently just cut three minutes out of Goodfellas. 585 00:31:32,957 --> 00:31:36,188 David Ershon is currently the CEO of Ershon Consortium. 586 00:31:36,294 --> 00:31:37,352 Who's that talking? 587 00:31:37,462 --> 00:31:39,987 It's the Frontline Narration App. It's only 99 cents. 588 00:31:40,098 --> 00:31:44,091 Ershon Consortium, current financial investments exceed $70 billion. 589 00:31:44,168 --> 00:31:47,194 His largest clients include Schering-Plough and Lendl Global. 590 00:31:47,305 --> 00:31:50,001 Lendl Global has those TV ads where I can't figure out what they do. 591 00:31:50,108 --> 00:31:53,168 Yeah, oil, media, health care, you've probably heard their jingle. 592 00:31:53,278 --> 00:31:56,213 Lendl Global, we're in everything 593 00:31:56,314 --> 00:31:59,147 David Ershon is often found in the company of Judge Scalia... 594 00:31:59,217 --> 00:32:01,549 - Yeah. ...and the lead singer of Maroon 5. 595 00:32:01,653 --> 00:32:03,484 I mean, this guy could be connected to drug cartels, 596 00:32:03,554 --> 00:32:06,387 black market organ sales, human trafficking, all of it. 597 00:32:06,491 --> 00:32:08,118 How do you get that from anything I just said? 598 00:32:08,192 --> 00:32:09,989 Hey, guys! Soup's on. 599 00:32:10,061 --> 00:32:11,460 What do you mean? 600 00:32:13,564 --> 00:32:14,656 Hi. 601 00:32:14,732 --> 00:32:16,324 - Hi. - You must be Terry. 602 00:32:16,401 --> 00:32:19,632 I'm sorry I've been hiding, honey, but this dinner was tricky. 603 00:32:21,005 --> 00:32:23,735 - Who are you? - I'm Dr. Sheila Gamble, his wife. 604 00:32:24,042 --> 00:32:26,670 - Come on, seriously. Who is that? - His old lady. 605 00:32:26,744 --> 00:32:29,235 - Sweetie, it's a workstation. - Got it. 606 00:32:29,347 --> 00:32:32,874 And you come in here, dressed like a hobo, it's distracting. 607 00:32:32,984 --> 00:32:34,918 I know you're working. I'm so sorry. 608 00:32:35,019 --> 00:32:37,010 - Come on, seriously. - Come on, what? 609 00:32:37,088 --> 00:32:38,316 Who is that? 610 00:32:38,389 --> 00:32:40,414 That's the old... That's the old ball and chain. 611 00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:44,318 Get over here. 612 00:32:44,395 --> 00:32:46,022 - Not... Not right now. - Okay. 613 00:32:46,097 --> 00:32:48,088 Look, they're not all first-round picks, okay? 614 00:32:48,499 --> 00:32:49,898 Come on, are you gonna tell me who that is? 615 00:32:50,768 --> 00:32:54,260 - Are you really Allen's wife? - I know. 616 00:32:54,372 --> 00:32:57,830 People are shocked because he's Episcopalian and I'm Catholic, 617 00:32:58,509 --> 00:32:59,942 but somehow it works. 618 00:33:00,678 --> 00:33:03,238 - Are you gonna change? - I already did. 619 00:33:03,448 --> 00:33:05,575 It's no big deal. You look really, really nice. 620 00:33:05,683 --> 00:33:09,744 Terry, you don't have to be polite, okay? She looks kind of shitty. 621 00:33:09,854 --> 00:33:11,185 Don't speak to her like that, Allen. 622 00:33:11,255 --> 00:33:15,521 Look, if I put that in my Cosmo Fashion App, you'd probably get a D-. 623 00:33:16,094 --> 00:33:17,891 Allen and his apps. He loves them. 624 00:33:17,962 --> 00:33:21,420 You know he's designed three of his own? One of them... Can I tell him? 625 00:33:22,066 --> 00:33:23,966 One of them, you can take a picture of anybody's face, 626 00:33:24,068 --> 00:33:26,866 and it'll tell you what the back of his head looks like. 627 00:33:27,105 --> 00:33:28,436 - Faceback. - Faceback. 628 00:33:28,539 --> 00:33:30,564 Got some horrible reviews coming out of the gate. 629 00:33:30,942 --> 00:33:32,102 - It's gonna hit. - It's gonna catch. 630 00:33:32,210 --> 00:33:34,235 Why are you with Allen? 631 00:33:34,312 --> 00:33:38,214 I mean, that's not what I meant. I meant, how did you guys meet? 632 00:33:38,282 --> 00:33:40,750 It's a really typical "how we met" story, Terry. 633 00:33:41,319 --> 00:33:42,513 You're gonna be bored by it. 634 00:33:42,587 --> 00:33:46,580 I was a dancer for the Knicks while finishing my residency at Columbia Hospital. 635 00:33:46,691 --> 00:33:48,921 Allen came into the ER with poison ivy on his rectum. 636 00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:50,085 Yes. 637 00:33:50,194 --> 00:33:52,822 Needless to say, I fell for him immediately. 638 00:33:53,231 --> 00:33:57,463 We immediately spent the next three days at the La Quinta Inn, 639 00:33:58,202 --> 00:34:00,534 - and, to be honest, we didn't speak. - Three days 640 00:34:00,605 --> 00:34:03,165 of not communicating once verbally. 641 00:34:03,474 --> 00:34:05,533 We had actually, without knowing it, 642 00:34:05,610 --> 00:34:10,877 developed a language of eye flutters and non-verbal gestures. 643 00:34:11,115 --> 00:34:13,777 You know, Terry, it was just this primal connection. 644 00:34:14,218 --> 00:34:19,212 After those three days of non-verbal communication and a whole lot of loving, 645 00:34:19,457 --> 00:34:22,756 I had to go to a specialist to get my hips realigned. 646 00:34:23,161 --> 00:34:26,790 Similar to operating on a German shepherd 647 00:34:27,532 --> 00:34:31,093 - when they have hip dysplasia. - Very painful. 648 00:34:31,436 --> 00:34:35,463 It's funny, it's like a scene from that one movie, always forget the name of it. 649 00:34:35,573 --> 00:34:36,733 - With Meg Ryan. - Yes. 650 00:34:36,808 --> 00:34:39,777 I don't remember a movie where Meg Ryan meets a guy with poison ivy up his ass. 651 00:34:39,877 --> 00:34:42,277 - I'll think of it. I'll think of it. - Okay. 652 00:34:42,380 --> 00:34:44,075 So, what about you, Terry? Do you have a girl? 653 00:34:44,148 --> 00:34:46,139 I did, yeah. 654 00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:48,718 We were supposed to get married, but she backed out. It's complicated. 655 00:34:48,786 --> 00:34:51,254 - Terry shot Derek Jeter. - Shut up, Allen. This was before. 656 00:34:51,322 --> 00:34:52,584 That's okay. 657 00:34:52,657 --> 00:34:54,625 She's Got Mail. That's the name of the movie. 658 00:34:54,725 --> 00:34:56,659 That's it! Honey! 659 00:34:56,761 --> 00:34:57,819 - With Tom Hanks? - Right. 660 00:34:57,929 --> 00:34:58,987 - And Meg Ryan. - Meg Ryan. 661 00:34:59,097 --> 00:35:00,155 He didn't have poison ivy up his ass. 662 00:35:00,264 --> 00:35:01,561 - Yes, he did. - Yes, he did. Yeah. 663 00:35:01,632 --> 00:35:02,894 Way up there. 664 00:35:03,401 --> 00:35:05,995 Well, Terry, can't thank you enough for coming by. What a... 665 00:35:06,104 --> 00:35:07,731 What a wonderful, lovely evening. Thank you. 666 00:35:07,805 --> 00:35:11,434 - It was so, so nice meeting you, Terry. - It was my pleasure. Thank you. 667 00:35:11,509 --> 00:35:16,003 And remember, all I ask of you is, you don't let him get hurt, Terry. 668 00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:18,480 - She tells me that every day before I leave. - Yep, I do. 669 00:35:18,816 --> 00:35:21,649 I come downstairs and I make him his fresh-cut strawberries, 670 00:35:21,752 --> 00:35:24,516 and I say, " Listen, my little sugar balls, whatever you do today, 671 00:35:24,622 --> 00:35:25,919 "you just don't get hurt." 672 00:35:25,990 --> 00:35:27,321 Yeah. Every morning. 673 00:35:27,758 --> 00:35:31,250 And then I show him my breasts, and I say, " These are waiting for you 674 00:35:31,329 --> 00:35:32,455 - "when you get back home." - Right. 675 00:35:32,530 --> 00:35:35,431 You know, Terry, they're not the biggest breasts he's ever seen, 676 00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:37,934 - but, man, are they perky. - Not by a long shot. 677 00:35:38,002 --> 00:35:40,664 - And they are firm, and they are yours. - You're a nice lady. 678 00:35:42,473 --> 00:35:43,667 Thank you for coming. 679 00:35:44,041 --> 00:35:48,000 Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? Over. 680 00:35:48,112 --> 00:35:49,170 Go for Hoitz. 681 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:50,804 - We found your red Prius. - Great. 682 00:35:50,882 --> 00:35:52,975 It was trying to vote for Ralph Nader. 683 00:35:53,050 --> 00:35:55,280 - Come on. - Okay, sugar balls, listen up. 684 00:35:55,353 --> 00:35:56,650 There's gonna be fingerprints on that car. 685 00:35:56,721 --> 00:35:59,053 Tomorrow, we're gonna run those fingerprints through the system. 686 00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:02,820 And if we get a hit, this case is gonna heat up faster than a junkie's spoon. 687 00:36:02,894 --> 00:36:05,226 You do one thing when you wake up tomorrow, bring it. 688 00:36:05,329 --> 00:36:06,387 - Okay. - Thank you, Sheila. 689 00:36:06,497 --> 00:36:07,555 He'll bring it. 690 00:36:07,665 --> 00:36:09,292 - Good night! - Good night. 691 00:36:09,367 --> 00:36:10,698 Thank you, Sheila. 692 00:36:11,035 --> 00:36:14,061 - Bye, Terry! - Bye, Sheila! I'll never forget tonight. 693 00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:15,969 - Bye, Terry! - All right, Allen, whatever. Go inside. 694 00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:17,132 Bye, Sheila! 695 00:36:17,208 --> 00:36:18,698 - Night! - See you... See you, Terry! 696 00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:20,667 Bye, Sheila. 697 00:36:24,649 --> 00:36:27,243 I don't know if he heard me. Bye, Terry! 698 00:36:27,351 --> 00:36:28,909 Bye, Sheila! 699 00:36:32,356 --> 00:36:36,759 Well, here she is. They left her under an overpass for the night. 700 00:36:36,861 --> 00:36:38,522 You find anything? 701 00:36:38,596 --> 00:36:41,360 Yeah. We found a lot of stuff. 702 00:36:41,432 --> 00:36:43,400 From bodily fluid and hair samples, 703 00:36:43,501 --> 00:36:46,527 we determined that a bunch of old, homeless dudes had an orgy in the car. 704 00:36:46,604 --> 00:36:48,868 - Oh, God. - Yeah. 705 00:36:48,940 --> 00:36:50,771 You know what that's called when they do that in there? 706 00:36:50,875 --> 00:36:52,342 That's called a soup kitchen. 707 00:36:52,410 --> 00:36:54,002 It's pretty rough stuff. 708 00:36:54,078 --> 00:36:57,570 Not long after that, a mama raccoon came along 709 00:36:57,682 --> 00:36:59,081 and gave birth on the floor. 710 00:36:59,917 --> 00:37:01,509 Placenta blew out all over the back window there. 711 00:37:02,653 --> 00:37:05,281 Yeah, and then to top it all off, some joker comes along 712 00:37:05,556 --> 00:37:08,650 takes himself a nifty little dump in the driver's seat. 713 00:37:08,993 --> 00:37:10,722 I think he knew you guys were cops, 714 00:37:11,128 --> 00:37:13,596 because this is what I would call a spite shit. 715 00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:15,498 You were able to determine all of that 716 00:37:15,566 --> 00:37:17,397 - from the hair and fluid samples? - Oh, yeah. 717 00:37:17,802 --> 00:37:19,667 What about fingerprints? You find any fingerprints? 718 00:37:19,737 --> 00:37:21,762 - Nope, couldn't get a one. - Found a cell phone. 719 00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:23,434 Yeah, that's mine. 720 00:37:23,574 --> 00:37:25,007 Any signs of a struggle or spent shells? 721 00:37:25,610 --> 00:37:29,808 No. Believe me, everybody that was in on this orgy was more than willing. 722 00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:31,973 In fact, they even left you a note here. 723 00:37:32,049 --> 00:37:35,746 "Thanks for the F-shack. Love, Dirty Mike and the boys." 724 00:37:35,886 --> 00:37:36,910 Here's something we found. 725 00:37:36,988 --> 00:37:39,582 We found about a dozen unscratched lottery tickets. 726 00:37:39,757 --> 00:37:42,817 No fingerprints or nothing. Check that out. 727 00:37:42,994 --> 00:37:46,327 Yeah, it's a real shame, you know. I got myself a Prius. It's a hell of a machine. 728 00:37:47,164 --> 00:37:50,133 It's my first brand-new car. I've never owned a new car. 729 00:37:50,201 --> 00:37:51,964 Found a deer vagina. 730 00:37:52,837 --> 00:37:55,032 - What? - Thought it was human lips at first. 731 00:37:55,139 --> 00:37:57,607 Then we took a closer look. It was definitely a deer vagina. 732 00:37:59,944 --> 00:38:00,808 Not even a free ticket. 733 00:38:02,046 --> 00:38:03,274 What are we gonna do? 734 00:38:03,381 --> 00:38:06,441 We got no fingerprints, a bunch of losing lottery tickets. 735 00:38:06,684 --> 00:38:09,152 Look at this, there's a two-minute phone call made after we were jumped. 736 00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:11,688 - They used your phone? - They ghost dialed. 737 00:38:11,756 --> 00:38:12,916 Someone probably sat on it. 738 00:38:13,024 --> 00:38:15,754 It could have recorded some of their conversation when Ershon got grabbed. 739 00:38:15,860 --> 00:38:17,191 We gotta hear the other side of that call. 740 00:38:18,362 --> 00:38:19,727 Nope, no, it's nothing. 741 00:38:19,797 --> 00:38:22,061 - Nothing? It's the only lead we have. - It's nothing. It's nothing. 742 00:38:22,133 --> 00:38:23,532 Why did you just get super jumpy? 743 00:38:24,635 --> 00:38:25,727 What? 744 00:38:25,803 --> 00:38:27,771 It's an ex-girlfriend, okay? 745 00:38:27,872 --> 00:38:29,601 What's the matter? What happened with you guys? 746 00:38:29,707 --> 00:38:31,538 She was just a bit of a handful, that's it. 747 00:38:36,547 --> 00:38:38,481 Allen, it's the only lead we have. 748 00:38:38,582 --> 00:38:40,914 We either go with this or we walk away from this case right now. 749 00:38:41,485 --> 00:38:43,385 Fine. Let's go see her. 750 00:38:56,300 --> 00:38:57,562 Hello, Christinith. 751 00:38:57,635 --> 00:38:59,227 Hello, Allen. 752 00:39:01,639 --> 00:39:04,403 - That's my partner, Terry. - Hi, Telly. 753 00:39:04,842 --> 00:39:08,005 - Holy shit. Dude. - Just relax, relax. 754 00:39:08,779 --> 00:39:13,182 I waited for you in Tower Records for four hours. 755 00:39:14,118 --> 00:39:16,086 That was 13 years ago. 756 00:39:19,156 --> 00:39:24,093 Arnold Palmer alert. Arnold Palmer alert. Who wants some Arnie Palmies? 757 00:39:25,429 --> 00:39:27,021 Sweetie, this one has the vodky, right here. 758 00:39:27,131 --> 00:39:30,294 - Hal, just place it down, please. - All righty. 759 00:39:31,135 --> 00:39:32,363 Okay. 760 00:39:36,507 --> 00:39:41,638 I did things in bed with you that I haven't done with anyone since. 761 00:39:41,712 --> 00:39:43,009 No. 762 00:39:43,114 --> 00:39:45,878 - Christinith, your husband, it's awkward. - Oh, no, he knows all of this. 763 00:39:45,983 --> 00:39:48,474 - You're a lucky dog. - It's true. 764 00:39:51,522 --> 00:39:53,387 Christine, this is a lovely house. 765 00:39:53,491 --> 00:39:56,517 It's Christinith. Are you stupid, or are you deaf? 766 00:39:56,727 --> 00:39:59,321 Christinith, you idiot! 767 00:39:59,663 --> 00:40:04,032 You come to our house, you get my wife's name right! 768 00:40:04,468 --> 00:40:05,833 - What? - Christinith! 769 00:40:05,903 --> 00:40:08,667 Look, we really appreciate the hospitality. 770 00:40:09,006 --> 00:40:11,167 We'd just love to get the message off your cell phone. 771 00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:15,201 We believe it might give us information regarding a kidnapping. 772 00:40:18,015 --> 00:40:21,786 Okay. Why don't you come to the kitchen, and I will let you listen to it 773 00:40:21,786 --> 00:40:24,311 and everyone else stay here. 774 00:40:24,722 --> 00:40:27,350 - Okay, sweetie. - Come on. 775 00:40:31,228 --> 00:40:33,594 - There's my phone. - Great, thank you for... 776 00:40:37,001 --> 00:40:40,437 I hate you, you son of a bitch! 777 00:40:40,504 --> 00:40:43,905 - You're so strong. - I'm stronger than you will ever know! 778 00:40:43,974 --> 00:40:47,000 I hate you! I hate you! 779 00:40:47,111 --> 00:40:50,603 You're so adorable. Look at your face. Look at your face. 780 00:40:50,681 --> 00:40:54,617 You go, "I wuv you." Say it. "I wuv you, Cwistinith." 781 00:41:00,424 --> 00:41:04,861 You probably think because of the beard that I'm really hairy. 782 00:41:04,962 --> 00:41:06,930 But I'm not. 783 00:41:08,332 --> 00:41:09,799 Shaved. 784 00:41:10,301 --> 00:41:12,030 - Allen! - He's fine. 785 00:41:13,003 --> 00:41:14,197 Question. 786 00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:16,399 What would you rather be, 787 00:41:17,775 --> 00:41:20,243 a bear or a dog? 788 00:41:20,411 --> 00:41:23,346 - I don't care. - I wanna be 789 00:41:24,715 --> 00:41:27,275 a bear dog. Half dog, half bear. 790 00:41:27,952 --> 00:41:30,318 'Cause that way, I could live in the house 791 00:41:30,588 --> 00:41:33,557 but I still get to make a doodie out in the woods. 792 00:41:34,358 --> 00:41:35,586 Allen! 793 00:41:39,864 --> 00:41:41,354 Allen! Allen! 794 00:41:41,432 --> 00:41:44,663 - This is police evidence. Terry! Let's go! - Hey! 795 00:41:44,735 --> 00:41:47,260 You get back here and you make love to my wife! 796 00:41:47,371 --> 00:41:48,895 Allen! Allen! 797 00:41:49,740 --> 00:41:53,267 I don't get it, man. I just do not get it. 798 00:41:53,377 --> 00:41:55,607 I mean, that girl Christinith was seriously hot. 799 00:41:55,713 --> 00:41:57,340 Your wife is crazy hot. 800 00:41:57,414 --> 00:42:00,110 I mean, even that Brazilian security chick, she threw you a "Do me" vibe. 801 00:42:00,684 --> 00:42:02,151 What is it with you and hot ladies? 802 00:42:02,219 --> 00:42:05,586 First off, my wife is cute, but she's not hot. 803 00:42:05,689 --> 00:42:09,750 Dude, you're insane. Your wife is scalding hot. 804 00:42:09,860 --> 00:42:12,226 - You wanna listen to this message or not? - Yeah, whatever. 805 00:42:12,329 --> 00:42:13,296 You have one job, mate. 806 00:42:13,998 --> 00:42:15,989 Find a sucker to invest with you 807 00:42:16,066 --> 00:42:18,034 so you can pay my boss back the money you lost. 808 00:42:18,102 --> 00:42:19,330 And I don't care who. 809 00:42:19,403 --> 00:42:21,735 Right. I actually think I found a sucker... 810 00:42:21,839 --> 00:42:24,273 - He's talking to Ershon. ...to invest $32 billion. 811 00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:25,933 Who's got $32 billion to rob? 812 00:42:26,043 --> 00:42:28,273 Once I get the money, I'll falsify the records 813 00:42:28,412 --> 00:42:31,176 to show their massive losses and then repay your employer. 814 00:42:31,248 --> 00:42:34,911 Now, since you're following me, I need to go to 2300 Park Avenue, 815 00:42:35,019 --> 00:42:36,577 and after that... 816 00:42:36,687 --> 00:42:38,450 I told you it wasn't a security team. 817 00:42:38,756 --> 00:42:41,919 - He was being abducted. - Obviously, but what kind... Holy... 818 00:42:42,026 --> 00:42:43,550 Nobody leaves our house without making love to my wife! 819 00:42:43,627 --> 00:42:44,787 - Is that him? - Yeah! 820 00:42:44,895 --> 00:42:46,692 Oh, my God, they came out of nowhere! 821 00:42:46,764 --> 00:42:48,595 - Holy shit! - They chased us 20 miles. 822 00:42:48,699 --> 00:42:50,894 - You come back here! You get back here! - Allen! 823 00:42:58,642 --> 00:43:02,237 2300 Park Avenue. It's the offices of the lottery. 824 00:43:03,380 --> 00:43:05,075 Holy shit, the lottery tickets we found. 825 00:43:05,449 --> 00:43:07,883 Ershon is using the lottery money to cover his losses. 826 00:43:07,952 --> 00:43:10,785 $32 billion. That's the state's money. 827 00:43:10,888 --> 00:43:13,083 Well, what do we tell Mauch? A guy lost some money. 828 00:43:13,157 --> 00:43:16,649 We have a scratchy cell phone message and an address. It's still half a case. 829 00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:20,719 There's gotta be some sort of paper trail. If we can find that, if we can track it, 830 00:43:20,798 --> 00:43:21,992 then we can go to Mauch. 831 00:43:22,766 --> 00:43:26,759 So, I did some more research on Ershon's accounting firm, 832 00:43:26,837 --> 00:43:28,566 and I found some pretty interesting stuff. 833 00:43:28,639 --> 00:43:31,802 It turns out that Gretchel and Dawson has... 834 00:43:33,243 --> 00:43:34,938 Hold on, I'm up. 835 00:43:36,246 --> 00:43:39,306 I gave my love to Erin 836 00:43:40,284 --> 00:43:43,947 She promised to be true 837 00:43:44,488 --> 00:43:48,481 I went to war to come back 838 00:43:48,592 --> 00:43:52,528 And find five British soldiers 839 00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:55,827 Had their way with her 840 00:43:56,000 --> 00:44:00,369 It was consensual 841 00:44:01,105 --> 00:44:02,163 Done? 842 00:44:02,272 --> 00:44:05,207 Gretchel and Dawson Accounting Firm in Fair Lawn, New Jersey 843 00:44:05,309 --> 00:44:08,369 has only one client, David Ershon. 844 00:44:08,479 --> 00:44:11,004 Pretty rinky-dink operation for a guy like that. 845 00:44:11,115 --> 00:44:13,811 Looks like we're going to Jersey to visit an accounting firm. 846 00:44:13,884 --> 00:44:16,648 That's a shitty day. 847 00:44:17,888 --> 00:44:21,949 And all their fathers were hanged 848 00:44:22,026 --> 00:44:25,484 And the children all got pink eye 849 00:44:27,564 --> 00:44:34,402 While their Harry Potter books were burned 850 00:44:40,044 --> 00:44:42,478 Do you have fun singing those songs? They're really depressing. 851 00:44:42,546 --> 00:44:44,980 I do. They're full of rich history. 852 00:44:46,183 --> 00:44:48,174 Damn it, I'm late. I was supposed to go meet my lady. 853 00:44:48,252 --> 00:44:50,652 I thought you said you guys split up. 854 00:44:50,721 --> 00:44:53,246 Let's just keep our thing about work, okay? 855 00:44:53,357 --> 00:44:54,915 All right. Goodbye, buddy. 856 00:44:55,025 --> 00:44:57,016 Hey, get off me, man. 857 00:45:15,612 --> 00:45:18,342 What the hell are you doing? 858 00:45:18,415 --> 00:45:21,009 I'm dancing, Terry. What the hell are you doing here? 859 00:45:21,085 --> 00:45:23,246 I love you, Francine. 860 00:45:23,353 --> 00:45:26,584 If you were with me, you wouldn't be here in this strip club, shaking it for dollar bills! 861 00:45:26,690 --> 00:45:31,718 This is a ballet studio, Terry. Okay? These poles are horizontal. 862 00:45:31,795 --> 00:45:33,854 He loves you very much, Francine. 863 00:45:33,931 --> 00:45:36,399 - Who is this guy? - What are you doing here, Allen? 864 00:45:36,467 --> 00:45:38,094 It's the code. I'm your partner. 865 00:45:38,302 --> 00:45:41,362 I'm here to support a friend and a work colleague. 866 00:45:41,438 --> 00:45:42,928 Francine, is this guy bothering you? 867 00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,907 Who's this, your new boyfriend? Great. You got a new boyfriend. 868 00:45:45,976 --> 00:45:49,412 He is my dance partner, Terry. Okay? 869 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,277 I know that this is a big surprise, 870 00:45:51,381 --> 00:45:54,214 but there are other things in the world besides being a cop. Okay? 871 00:45:54,885 --> 00:45:57,752 Now, if you will excuse me, I'm gonna dance. 872 00:45:57,821 --> 00:45:59,618 What, you don't think I can do this shit? 873 00:46:16,140 --> 00:46:18,335 That was surprisingly good, Terry. 874 00:46:18,642 --> 00:46:21,338 - I love you, Francine. - You don't know what love is. 875 00:46:21,445 --> 00:46:23,379 He loves you very much, Francine! 876 00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:25,380 I heard it when he said it. Thank you. 877 00:46:25,482 --> 00:46:27,677 You know what you're doing to me? You're killing me inside. 878 00:46:27,785 --> 00:46:28,877 And don't eyeball me, man! 879 00:46:28,986 --> 00:46:30,954 You're running around with this crack-dealing drug addict? 880 00:46:31,021 --> 00:46:32,113 Terry! 881 00:46:32,189 --> 00:46:33,884 He does not approve of your behavior! 882 00:46:33,991 --> 00:46:35,959 Can you please go? 883 00:46:36,026 --> 00:46:38,324 And you, too, creepy guy standing in the door? 884 00:46:42,466 --> 00:46:43,660 Let's go, Allen. 885 00:46:44,134 --> 00:46:46,694 I think we all experienced our own ballet today. 886 00:46:47,037 --> 00:46:48,834 The ballet of emotion and feelings. 887 00:46:49,306 --> 00:46:50,864 You're kind of making things worse. 888 00:47:00,484 --> 00:47:03,317 - You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. 889 00:47:04,755 --> 00:47:07,246 Hey, I didn't know you could dance. 890 00:47:08,192 --> 00:47:10,660 We used to do those dance moves to make fun of guys when we were kids, 891 00:47:10,727 --> 00:47:12,092 show them how queer they were, okay? 892 00:47:14,031 --> 00:47:17,023 - You learned to dance like that sarcastically? - Yeah, I guess. 893 00:47:17,100 --> 00:47:20,661 Stay out of my personal life, okay? The kid flies private. 894 00:47:20,737 --> 00:47:23,900 Stay focused on the case, man. I'll see you in Jersey tomorrow. 895 00:47:24,341 --> 00:47:25,899 All right, Terry. 896 00:47:26,443 --> 00:47:30,038 Hey, that was liberating for me. I don't know how it felt for you. 897 00:47:52,569 --> 00:47:55,936 Here, check this out. Article from six months ago. 898 00:47:56,039 --> 00:47:57,597 Talking about how the lottery is looking 899 00:47:57,708 --> 00:48:00,108 to invest their $30-billion fund more aggressively. 900 00:48:00,811 --> 00:48:01,937 So he's dealing drugs? 901 00:48:02,312 --> 00:48:06,112 No, it's not drugs. This isn't Miami Vice. 902 00:48:09,219 --> 00:48:11,050 Look, I'm sorry. I just... 903 00:48:11,755 --> 00:48:16,454 I am in a bit of a state today. Sheila and I got into it last night. 904 00:48:16,994 --> 00:48:18,359 What happened? 905 00:48:20,264 --> 00:48:23,062 She was interested in taking this class at The Learning Annex, right? 906 00:48:23,700 --> 00:48:25,634 Called "The Art of Oral Sex"? 907 00:48:25,903 --> 00:48:28,599 You know, we just don't have it in the budget right now. 908 00:48:29,206 --> 00:48:31,174 It's always about her. 909 00:48:31,575 --> 00:48:33,543 Yeah, that's... That's messed up. 910 00:48:35,279 --> 00:48:36,439 Hey, I got you a gift. 911 00:48:37,281 --> 00:48:41,047 I just saw something, and I thought of you, and so, I don't want it to be weird. 912 00:48:41,118 --> 00:48:42,244 I just wanted to be nice. 913 00:48:42,352 --> 00:48:43,683 Of course it's weird. 914 00:48:43,754 --> 00:48:45,585 It's a grown man giving another man a present. 915 00:48:47,257 --> 00:48:49,589 There you go. Open it up. 916 00:48:50,193 --> 00:48:52,093 It's okay, you're welcome. 917 00:48:52,629 --> 00:48:54,597 I like to do things like that. 918 00:48:54,731 --> 00:48:56,790 Take a look what it says. 919 00:49:05,642 --> 00:49:08,110 You know, because we're both in law enforcement. 920 00:49:08,211 --> 00:49:09,769 We both like women. 921 00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:12,872 But I got a weird sense of humor. I'm a sick puppy. 922 00:49:13,216 --> 00:49:15,377 I can't look at it. It makes me laugh so hard. 923 00:49:15,452 --> 00:49:16,749 Me, too. 924 00:49:20,157 --> 00:49:23,320 Real nice. You know, it's all class. 925 00:49:25,562 --> 00:49:26,961 - Okay. - Don't do that shit any more. 926 00:49:27,064 --> 00:49:28,429 Yeah, believe me, I won't. 927 00:49:29,066 --> 00:49:31,364 Do you understand what's so funny about it, though? 928 00:49:32,936 --> 00:49:36,531 'Cause it's the FBI, right? It has the same logo, the same shield. 929 00:49:36,606 --> 00:49:39,439 And at first glance, you're like, it's just a mug that says "FBI." 930 00:49:40,010 --> 00:49:44,674 But then at second glance, you're like, "Female Body Inspector"? 931 00:49:44,748 --> 00:49:46,909 Get out of town. This is outrageous... 932 00:49:47,017 --> 00:49:48,279 Shut up! 933 00:50:00,797 --> 00:50:03,027 I'm gonna climb over that anger wall of yours 934 00:50:03,100 --> 00:50:04,192 one of these days, 935 00:50:04,267 --> 00:50:06,428 and it's gonna be glorious. 936 00:50:09,973 --> 00:50:12,635 Shouldn't we tell Mauch that we're going to check this place out? 937 00:50:12,743 --> 00:50:14,011 For what? We're just going to check it out. 938 00:50:14,011 --> 00:50:15,876 I know, but it's procedure. 939 00:50:16,947 --> 00:50:19,074 Terry answers to no one. 940 00:50:19,750 --> 00:50:21,911 I do what I do. 941 00:50:22,953 --> 00:50:25,421 What accounting firm is closed at 11:00 a.m. On a Tuesday? 942 00:50:25,489 --> 00:50:26,751 This is a shithole. 943 00:50:34,431 --> 00:50:35,489 I love bombs. 944 00:50:35,599 --> 00:50:38,762 I can't hear! I can't hear! 945 00:50:40,237 --> 00:50:42,228 There's blood blisters on my hands! 946 00:50:42,305 --> 00:50:43,397 Oh, my God! 947 00:50:43,473 --> 00:50:45,771 How do they walk away in movies without flinching 948 00:50:45,842 --> 00:50:47,571 when it explodes behind them? 949 00:50:47,644 --> 00:50:50,909 There's no way! I call bullshit on that! 950 00:50:51,248 --> 00:50:54,581 When they flew the Millennium Falcon outside of the Death Star, 951 00:50:54,651 --> 00:50:58,644 and it was followed by the explosion, that was bullshit! 952 00:50:58,755 --> 00:51:02,020 Don't you dare badmouth Star Wars! That was all accurate! 953 00:51:02,125 --> 00:51:04,093 I need an MRI. 954 00:51:04,161 --> 00:51:08,461 I need an MRI! I've got soft tissue damage. 955 00:51:08,932 --> 00:51:10,957 There's no way I don't have soft tissue damage. 956 00:51:11,034 --> 00:51:12,126 Please stop. 957 00:51:12,202 --> 00:51:13,931 I just wanna go somewhere and breastfeed right now! 958 00:51:18,108 --> 00:51:22,477 Fire Department said it was a gas leak, but no way. That was timed. 959 00:51:22,546 --> 00:51:24,343 They didn't wanna kill us, but they wanted to scare us. 960 00:51:24,448 --> 00:51:26,939 Yeah, well, they succeeded, okay? 961 00:51:27,017 --> 00:51:29,645 I'm tired of this. All right? 962 00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:32,279 I'm tired of explosions and people pointing guns at me. 963 00:51:32,355 --> 00:51:34,482 I wanna go back to my desk. 964 00:51:34,558 --> 00:51:38,050 Guess what? Life gets loud sometimes and messes with your ears. 965 00:51:38,161 --> 00:51:40,629 You can't escape it by hiding at your desk for your whole life. 966 00:51:40,697 --> 00:51:43,461 You know what? Yes, you can. I've done it for years, okay? 967 00:51:43,533 --> 00:51:46,468 There's no explosions at my desk. 968 00:51:46,536 --> 00:51:51,473 There's no explosions at my home with my plain wife, in my plain house. 969 00:51:53,810 --> 00:51:55,539 What are you afraid of, man? 970 00:51:56,680 --> 00:52:01,174 I'm your partner. You can tell me. What the hell are you hiding from? 971 00:52:01,918 --> 00:52:04,284 I was a sophomore in college. 972 00:52:05,689 --> 00:52:09,750 The university I went to decided they needed to raise tuition. 973 00:52:10,894 --> 00:52:16,730 A classmate of mine, Brenda, in an effort to raise money and stay in school, 974 00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:18,768 came up with a nifty plan 975 00:52:18,869 --> 00:52:21,303 where she thought she'd date guys and charge them money. 976 00:52:21,471 --> 00:52:23,063 I go on dates all the time, 977 00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:25,267 with a whole bunch of, you know, boys and stuff. 978 00:52:25,375 --> 00:52:28,708 And I kind of need somebody to help me out, like, you know, my partner in crime. 979 00:52:29,279 --> 00:52:31,543 Yeah, I could make a schedule. 980 00:52:31,615 --> 00:52:33,207 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I was thinking. 981 00:52:33,283 --> 00:52:35,808 - Provide transportation services. - Yeah, yeah. 982 00:52:35,919 --> 00:52:38,046 - It's gonna be a good time. - Thanks so much for asking me. 983 00:52:38,121 --> 00:52:40,589 She said she needed my help to make sure that the dates went okay 984 00:52:40,657 --> 00:52:44,115 and that the guys paid her. She said she'd give me a percentage. 985 00:52:44,227 --> 00:52:47,492 - Oh, my God. You were a pimp. - What? God, no. 986 00:52:47,597 --> 00:52:49,656 No, I was just trying to help a friend. 987 00:52:49,766 --> 00:52:52,326 We started making a lot of money. 988 00:52:53,336 --> 00:52:56,237 And wouldn't you know it, some of Brenda's girlfriends 989 00:52:56,306 --> 00:52:59,002 decided they wanted to be a part of it. 990 00:52:59,109 --> 00:53:01,771 Pretty soon, there were about 14 ladies that I was protecting 991 00:53:01,845 --> 00:53:03,472 while they gave me money. 992 00:53:03,580 --> 00:53:05,104 That's called a stable of whores. 993 00:53:06,016 --> 00:53:10,953 We decided I shouldn't use my real name. So we came up with the name "Gator." 994 00:53:11,188 --> 00:53:12,655 I'm telling you, you were a pimp. 995 00:53:12,756 --> 00:53:15,350 No! Are you even listening to the story? 996 00:53:18,161 --> 00:53:20,254 Anyway, one day, I wake up and I look in the mirror, 997 00:53:20,330 --> 00:53:22,594 and I don't like what I see. 998 00:53:23,833 --> 00:53:27,360 I mean, I had gotten out of control, and I didn't even realize it. 999 00:53:28,171 --> 00:53:30,503 You can't have a conscience in the pimp game. 1000 00:53:31,274 --> 00:53:33,003 One night, two of my favorite girls, 1001 00:53:33,109 --> 00:53:35,304 Candy and Jolene, said, "We gotta take you in," 1002 00:53:35,378 --> 00:53:37,676 and they dropped me off at the emergency room. 1003 00:53:37,781 --> 00:53:39,681 That's where I met Sheila. I was a mess. 1004 00:53:39,783 --> 00:53:44,982 I made a promise to myself and to her that I would never get out of control again. 1005 00:53:45,822 --> 00:53:47,187 So, as soon as I graduated from college, 1006 00:53:47,290 --> 00:53:50,191 I became an accountant for the police department. 1007 00:53:50,827 --> 00:53:53,523 The most stable job I could think of. 1008 00:53:55,131 --> 00:53:57,531 An accountant for law and order. 1009 00:53:59,836 --> 00:54:03,897 I just don't wanna ever feel out of control like that ever again. 1010 00:54:04,007 --> 00:54:06,703 Don't worry. I got your back. 1011 00:54:06,810 --> 00:54:09,210 Now I say we go get in Ershon's grill and see if he cracks. 1012 00:54:09,312 --> 00:54:13,078 - I'm tired of all this tippy-toeing around. - Okay. 1013 00:54:13,416 --> 00:54:16,146 You can either walk the plank or take your panties off. 1014 00:54:16,219 --> 00:54:17,846 The choice is yours. 1015 00:54:17,921 --> 00:54:22,187 - I want to take my panties off. - You've made a wise choice, you have. 1016 00:54:22,259 --> 00:54:27,060 Mr. Ershon, Detective Gamble and the officer who shot Derek Jeter are here. 1017 00:54:27,597 --> 00:54:28,859 Gentlemen, please. 1018 00:54:28,932 --> 00:54:32,231 - Remember us, hotshot? - Of course I do. Please, sit. 1019 00:54:32,335 --> 00:54:33,996 There she blows. 1020 00:54:36,406 --> 00:54:39,671 Two of those Russian waters, please. No lime wedges, just cucumber. 1021 00:54:39,743 --> 00:54:42,871 Guess where we just came from? An explosion at your accounting office. 1022 00:54:43,213 --> 00:54:45,443 Yes, that awful gas leak. 1023 00:54:45,548 --> 00:54:49,450 Gas leak? The only gas leak is the one coming out of your mouth right now. 1024 00:54:49,552 --> 00:54:54,580 I just thank God no one was hurt or injured in a bad way. 1025 00:54:54,691 --> 00:54:57,387 I absolutely abhor death. 1026 00:54:57,627 --> 00:55:01,085 Hey, Andrew Lloyd Webber. The jig is up, okay? 1027 00:55:01,231 --> 00:55:03,062 We know that wasn't your security team that grabbed you. 1028 00:55:03,133 --> 00:55:05,465 And we know you're targeting a big fish to cover losses. 1029 00:55:05,568 --> 00:55:07,900 You talk or I beat you so it don't show no bruises. 1030 00:55:08,271 --> 00:55:11,035 God, this water is good. Terry, have you tried the water? 1031 00:55:11,107 --> 00:55:12,597 Shut up, Allen. 1032 00:55:12,709 --> 00:55:15,974 I assure you, I have no idea what you're talking about. 1033 00:55:16,079 --> 00:55:19,981 I understand there was a bit of a mix-up with the whole scaffolding business. 1034 00:55:20,083 --> 00:55:25,487 The cucumber accents the water in such a way that... 1035 00:55:26,656 --> 00:55:31,389 Perhaps by way of apology, I can offer you my personal courtside seats 1036 00:55:31,461 --> 00:55:35,625 for the Knicks game, with access to the Ambassador Club. 1037 00:55:38,001 --> 00:55:43,132 Come on, Knicks! Come on! I got Knicks' fever and it's catching! 1038 00:55:44,474 --> 00:55:48,501 Hey. This feels weird sitting here. It feels like it's a bribe. 1039 00:55:48,611 --> 00:55:53,139 It is a bribe. Son-of-a-bitch, I saw courtside and I went blind. 1040 00:55:53,249 --> 00:55:54,511 Come on. 1041 00:55:55,352 --> 00:55:56,683 Call me! 1042 00:55:58,154 --> 00:55:59,951 - Excuse me. - That was a trick. 1043 00:56:00,023 --> 00:56:01,422 No more. 1044 00:56:01,491 --> 00:56:06,861 Gentlemen, you have a choice. Mamma Mia or Jersey Boys. 1045 00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:13,260 Fantastic! You're so unbelievable! 1046 00:56:17,774 --> 00:56:19,674 Damn it. He did it again. 1047 00:56:20,643 --> 00:56:22,941 - Excuse me. - No more tickets. 1048 00:56:23,012 --> 00:56:24,946 Mr. Ershon, I tried to keep them in the waiting room. 1049 00:56:25,014 --> 00:56:28,279 That's okay, Susan. Two Glacier waters with Mediterranean limes. 1050 00:56:28,351 --> 00:56:30,216 No, no, no. No more water. We're not here for that. 1051 00:56:30,320 --> 00:56:32,345 No, I was very much looking forward to having a water. 1052 00:56:32,455 --> 00:56:36,892 - How great is Jersey Boys? - It's not great. It's fantastic! 1053 00:56:36,993 --> 00:56:40,326 You totally undersold it. The pageantry, the costumes. 1054 00:56:40,397 --> 00:56:42,024 Wow, what a musical. 1055 00:56:42,132 --> 00:56:43,997 Hey. Get over here. 1056 00:56:45,135 --> 00:56:46,295 - What's wrong with you? - What? 1057 00:56:46,369 --> 00:56:47,859 That's not what we're here for. 1058 00:56:48,805 --> 00:56:50,864 We're gonna do good cop, bad cop. Okay? 1059 00:56:51,174 --> 00:56:54,200 It's the oldest game in the book for a reason, it works. 1060 00:56:54,310 --> 00:56:55,641 I come strong, then you come in. 1061 00:56:55,712 --> 00:56:56,804 - You got it? - Yeah. 1062 00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:59,542 - I come strong, then you come in. - Right. Got it. 1063 00:56:59,649 --> 00:57:01,549 Now you listen to me, you piece of shit. 1064 00:57:01,818 --> 00:57:04,378 It's just you and me, and I'm gonna rip you apart! 1065 00:57:04,487 --> 00:57:08,685 How did you cover your losses up? What drug cartel are you working with now? 1066 00:57:08,758 --> 00:57:12,694 - Okay, I'll talk to you, you're reasonable! - No, no, look at me! 1067 00:57:12,762 --> 00:57:15,230 You wanna talk to me? You wanna talk to me? 1068 00:57:15,331 --> 00:57:18,823 Allen, what are you doing? What are you doing? Allen! 1069 00:57:19,669 --> 00:57:21,899 I'm gonna make you eat a plate of human shit! 1070 00:57:22,572 --> 00:57:24,369 Get away from me! 1071 00:57:29,078 --> 00:57:30,545 Where is he? 1072 00:57:32,582 --> 00:57:35,176 Look, I'm really sorry about that. 1073 00:57:36,019 --> 00:57:38,544 I saw how aggressive you were being, and I thought, 1074 00:57:38,621 --> 00:57:42,250 "Wow, I gotta go even bigger than that, since we're doing bad cop, bad cop." 1075 00:57:42,358 --> 00:57:47,421 What? No, I said, "Good cop, bad cop." I'm the bad cop, you're the good cop. 1076 00:57:47,530 --> 00:57:51,933 Okay, then there it is. That's it. I thought you said, "Bad cop, bad cop." 1077 00:57:52,268 --> 00:57:55,704 Well, while you were going crazy, look what I snagged from his desk. 1078 00:57:55,772 --> 00:57:57,865 - Think it's his phone sheet. - Nice. 1079 00:57:58,208 --> 00:57:59,903 Seven calls to the lottery office. 1080 00:58:00,243 --> 00:58:01,767 That could be the evidence we need for Mauch. 1081 00:58:04,547 --> 00:58:07,414 - Get back. Colombian drug lords. - Where are you getting that from? 1082 00:58:09,219 --> 00:58:10,413 Jesus! 1083 00:58:19,229 --> 00:58:21,663 Can you imagine where you'd be in your career if you hadn't shot Jeter? 1084 00:58:29,472 --> 00:58:32,805 - We call this in, right? - Looks like we got all the evidence we need. 1085 00:58:32,909 --> 00:58:34,968 I'm sorry, my butterfly. 1086 00:58:36,346 --> 00:58:39,281 We'll load them up, send them back to go. 1087 00:58:48,024 --> 00:58:51,323 - Holy shit. - What? 1088 00:58:51,427 --> 00:58:54,123 What do you mean, what? Where are we? 1089 00:58:55,498 --> 00:58:56,931 We're in the high desert. 1090 00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:00,766 They took my shoes again, man! What the hell is it with taking shoes? 1091 00:59:00,837 --> 00:59:02,361 - They took your wooden gun? - Yeah. 1092 00:59:08,945 --> 00:59:11,175 - Hello? - Hello, Gene? I mean, Captain. 1093 00:59:11,281 --> 00:59:12,680 Captain, it's Allen Gamble. 1094 00:59:12,782 --> 00:59:14,613 Yeah, yeah. Where are you? What's going on? 1095 00:59:14,684 --> 00:59:16,982 Captain, it's a long story, but I'm just gonna cut to the chase. 1096 00:59:17,053 --> 00:59:19,021 We are in Las Vegas, all right? 1097 00:59:19,122 --> 00:59:22,489 We were kidnapped, put on a freight train, and shipped out here. 1098 00:59:22,559 --> 00:59:24,993 Let me just stop you right there. Don't bullshit me. 1099 00:59:25,061 --> 00:59:26,460 Captain, I am being straight with you. 1100 00:59:26,529 --> 00:59:28,861 Look, we think something's going on, okay? 1101 00:59:28,965 --> 00:59:31,832 We think Ershon is targeting the lottery to cover his losses. 1102 00:59:31,901 --> 00:59:37,339 Wait. How many times did I explicitly say to you, "Lay off Ershon"? 1103 00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:39,137 Terry, Captain wants to know 1104 00:59:39,208 --> 00:59:41,142 how many times has he asked us to lay off of Ershon. 1105 00:59:41,210 --> 00:59:42,302 Twice. 1106 00:59:43,146 --> 00:59:44,909 Twice. Terry says twice. I agree. 1107 00:59:45,014 --> 00:59:47,073 I'm hanging up. I'm done. 1108 00:59:51,354 --> 00:59:55,882 I gotta tell you, I started getting a hand for that, a taste for that Pai Gow. 1109 00:59:56,593 --> 01:00:01,189 Martin and Fosse, super cops, in three, two... 1110 01:00:01,264 --> 01:00:07,169 So, we busted that junkie. Got back 74 thou in diamonds. 74 thou. 1111 01:00:08,271 --> 01:00:09,704 Solved the Castien case. 1112 01:00:09,772 --> 01:00:12,570 $74,000? That's all they took? 1113 01:00:12,675 --> 01:00:14,905 There's millions of dollars of diamonds in that place. 1114 01:00:15,011 --> 01:00:17,172 How about this, Gamble? How about you shut your face? 1115 01:00:17,246 --> 01:00:18,838 All right? Just shut it. 1116 01:00:18,915 --> 01:00:20,542 Hoitz, Gamble, Captain's looking for you. 1117 01:00:23,519 --> 01:00:25,749 I know it's off the subject, but is Kevlar copyrighted? 1118 01:00:25,855 --> 01:00:27,117 - Captain? - Yeah. 1119 01:00:27,223 --> 01:00:29,714 - Is it a bad time? - No, come on. Come on. 1120 01:00:30,093 --> 01:00:31,924 - Not me, right? - Yeah, and you. 1121 01:00:32,028 --> 01:00:35,725 Fellows, I'm sure you're familiar with the venerable DA Radford. 1122 01:00:35,798 --> 01:00:37,459 He wanted to come down and pay us a visit. 1123 01:00:37,567 --> 01:00:38,795 Hello, gentlemen. 1124 01:00:38,901 --> 01:00:40,027 - Hello, sir. - Hey. 1125 01:00:40,103 --> 01:00:43,470 - You know, I was talking to Gene here. - He prefers "Captain." 1126 01:00:43,573 --> 01:00:47,065 Yes, I was talking to Gene here, and, you know, it's funny. 1127 01:00:47,377 --> 01:00:49,607 I don't know what you two have been up to, 1128 01:00:49,712 --> 01:00:53,079 but I've been getting calls from people I don't ever get calls from. 1129 01:00:53,149 --> 01:00:56,084 In 40 years of enforcing the law, I've learned one thing. 1130 01:00:56,719 --> 01:00:58,414 When that happens, stop. 1131 01:00:59,989 --> 01:01:03,083 - Gene, how's the family? - Good, good, Louis, thanks for asking. 1132 01:01:03,159 --> 01:01:05,150 - My son's bisexual, so... - Tremendous. 1133 01:01:07,964 --> 01:01:09,488 Gentlemen, do we understand each other? 1134 01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:12,961 - Cut the crap! - Will do. 1135 01:01:17,340 --> 01:01:18,773 Guy never comes down here. 1136 01:01:18,841 --> 01:01:21,674 Twenty years, I think I've seen that guy in this building one time. 1137 01:01:21,778 --> 01:01:24,941 - He's a heavyweight cat, that guy. - He was sitting right here. 1138 01:01:25,348 --> 01:01:28,784 Yeah. I think you missed the point. Anyway, look. 1139 01:01:28,851 --> 01:01:32,287 Blue and white found your firearms down by the Hudson River. Here you go, Terry. 1140 01:01:33,956 --> 01:01:35,446 You know what? 1141 01:01:36,125 --> 01:01:38,093 I'm gonna hang on to the wooden gun. 1142 01:01:38,161 --> 01:01:40,026 - To give me back my real gun? - No. 1143 01:01:40,129 --> 01:01:42,188 'Cause I'm gonna give you this. 1144 01:01:42,932 --> 01:01:46,095 It's a rape whistle. You blow that if you run into any trouble 1145 01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:49,263 and someone with an actual gun will come and help you out. 1146 01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:55,304 We were abducted, Captain! This shit is real! Ershon's dirty. He's targeting the lottery! 1147 01:01:55,378 --> 01:02:00,281 Next, I want you guys to hand in all the evidence you think you have to the SEC. 1148 01:02:00,349 --> 01:02:02,180 The financial district's under their jurisdiction. 1149 01:02:02,285 --> 01:02:04,753 Don't you get it? This case is talking to us! 1150 01:02:04,821 --> 01:02:07,949 I'm a peacock, Captain! You gotta let me fly on this one! 1151 01:02:08,024 --> 01:02:10,925 You know what, Terry? Let's just settle this. Peacocks don't fly. 1152 01:02:10,993 --> 01:02:14,451 - They fly, they fly a little bit. - Yeah, about as much as a penguin. 1153 01:02:14,530 --> 01:02:18,159 One more thing, do me a favor, don't go chasing waterfalls. 1154 01:02:18,868 --> 01:02:21,428 Was that accidental, or were you trying to quote TLC on purpose? 1155 01:02:22,271 --> 01:02:23,329 I don't even understand the reference. 1156 01:02:23,873 --> 01:02:26,000 - You don't understand what you said? - I don't know what that is. 1157 01:02:26,109 --> 01:02:27,542 Get out. Go. 1158 01:02:38,287 --> 01:02:40,517 How did they get that story? 1159 01:02:42,058 --> 01:02:45,027 I'm tired of being treated like a jerk for trying to do the right thing. 1160 01:02:45,128 --> 01:02:46,186 Hey, guys. 1161 01:02:46,562 --> 01:02:50,464 There's a proxy vote for a big reinvestment of the pension coming up, 1162 01:02:50,533 --> 01:02:53,400 - so if you just wanna come by the old... - Damn it, Bob! 1163 01:02:53,503 --> 01:02:54,561 Let me ask you something. 1164 01:02:54,670 --> 01:02:57,070 What do you even do around here besides interrupt people? 1165 01:02:57,774 --> 01:03:00,174 Well, I serve as treasurer to the union. 1166 01:03:00,243 --> 01:03:03,076 I make a wicked pot of decaf. 1167 01:03:03,179 --> 01:03:06,410 Exactly! You're a worthless piece of shit! 1168 01:03:08,351 --> 01:03:11,878 Probably right, Terry. That's why I feel so sad all the time. 1169 01:03:12,789 --> 01:03:14,586 I'm gonna go for a walk. 1170 01:03:14,690 --> 01:03:15,952 - Bob! - Say something. 1171 01:03:16,058 --> 01:03:17,923 Come on! Bob! 1172 01:03:18,027 --> 01:03:20,928 I didn't mean it, all right? I'm upset. 1173 01:03:38,748 --> 01:03:43,845 Actually, we don't do that here. This is an installation art piece. 1174 01:03:44,220 --> 01:03:46,313 - This coffee table? - Yes. We don't put drinks on it. 1175 01:03:50,092 --> 01:03:52,754 - Five hundred thousand? - He can read! Congratulations. 1176 01:03:53,229 --> 01:03:55,390 - What? - I'm sorry, are you in the right place? 1177 01:03:55,464 --> 01:03:57,762 Or not? I'm... 1178 01:03:58,968 --> 01:04:00,162 - Terry. - Does he... Okay. 1179 01:04:00,236 --> 01:04:03,501 - Well... - Sorry. Terry! What are you doing here? 1180 01:04:04,740 --> 01:04:09,109 - I want to be with you. - No, Terry, that's not gonna happen. 1181 01:04:09,478 --> 01:04:12,106 You know where you belong. On top of me in the Poconos. 1182 01:04:12,949 --> 01:04:14,974 Instead, you're here selling dirty coffee tables? 1183 01:04:15,151 --> 01:04:16,709 I mean, look at this. This is nonsense! 1184 01:04:16,786 --> 01:04:19,220 Terry, this is an original Haverfield-Jameson. 1185 01:04:19,589 --> 01:04:23,787 The chaos of the coffee table? It represents our fractured egos. 1186 01:04:24,260 --> 01:04:26,251 You think I don't know about this artsy-fartsy crap? 1187 01:04:26,629 --> 01:04:31,089 This coffee table isn't the ego. It represents our shattered sense of community 1188 01:04:31,434 --> 01:04:33,197 in the face of capitalist-driven isolation. 1189 01:04:33,502 --> 01:04:36,062 Looks like the work of Cindy Sherman or Frank Stella. 1190 01:04:36,739 --> 01:04:38,036 How did you know that, Terry? 1191 01:04:38,507 --> 01:04:39,906 I took some classes at RISD 1192 01:04:39,976 --> 01:04:42,308 so I could make fun of these lame artsy douches in my neighborhood. 1193 01:04:42,378 --> 01:04:44,778 - Terry, lower your voice! - I don't have to lower my voice. 1194 01:04:44,847 --> 01:04:47,645 - Is this man bothering you? - Are you actually having sex with this creep? 1195 01:04:47,984 --> 01:04:49,815 Terry, he's gay. Okay? 1196 01:04:51,087 --> 01:04:53,749 He's even wearing a T-shirt that says, "I'm gay"! 1197 01:04:54,023 --> 01:04:55,888 All right? And also, he is my boss. 1198 01:04:56,225 --> 01:04:57,385 Happy for you, man. Good. 1199 01:04:57,460 --> 01:04:59,325 Can you get out of here now? I'm talking to my lady. 1200 01:04:59,528 --> 01:05:02,861 Mr. Reger, everything is fine. Terry is actually leaving now. 1201 01:05:03,299 --> 01:05:05,358 Nice toot, sailor. Jesus. 1202 01:05:06,602 --> 01:05:08,536 Terry, what are you doing? 1203 01:05:09,038 --> 01:05:12,439 Look, I waited three years for you to be more than a cop, okay? 1204 01:05:12,775 --> 01:05:14,003 Just give me one more year. 1205 01:05:14,443 --> 01:05:16,843 Terry, you don't get another year. I'm done. 1206 01:05:17,346 --> 01:05:18,404 Fine. 1207 01:05:18,881 --> 01:05:22,078 - Terry, don't touch that! Terry! - Oh, my God! 1208 01:05:22,418 --> 01:05:24,352 I don't need this shit. I don't need you! 1209 01:05:25,354 --> 01:05:27,447 And when you call me, I'm not coming back! 1210 01:05:28,724 --> 01:05:31,784 - Oh, boy! Over the top! - How outré! 1211 01:05:32,161 --> 01:05:34,288 I'll burn this bitch down to the ground! 1212 01:05:35,564 --> 01:05:37,896 - Fresh! Energetic! - I love his rawness! 1213 01:05:38,301 --> 01:05:41,828 Stop critiquing me, okay? I'm a human being! I'm not a piece of art! 1214 01:05:42,138 --> 01:05:43,969 - Yes, you are. - Bravo! 1215 01:05:44,307 --> 01:05:47,003 I'm a peacock flying into a rainbow! 1216 01:05:47,677 --> 01:05:49,770 Yes! Yes! 1217 01:05:59,388 --> 01:06:01,982 These braised short ribs taste like a dog's asshole. 1218 01:06:02,091 --> 01:06:03,786 - Sweetie. - You know what, I'm sitting here thinking, 1219 01:06:03,893 --> 01:06:07,056 "Who in the world would slow roast a dog's asshole 1220 01:06:07,129 --> 01:06:09,097 "and serve it to their husband?" 1221 01:06:09,165 --> 01:06:12,601 - You would. - You are being awful. What's wrong? 1222 01:06:12,668 --> 01:06:17,401 - Captain took us off the case. - I'm sorry. 1223 01:06:18,307 --> 01:06:23,142 I told Terry about my dark days in college, and it brought up some feelings. 1224 01:06:23,546 --> 01:06:28,779 Well, honeydick, that was a long time ago. You're not that same person you were. 1225 01:06:28,884 --> 01:06:32,320 No, you don't get it. There is a darkness inside of me. 1226 01:06:32,421 --> 01:06:35,413 It wants to get out. It wants to walk around. 1227 01:06:35,491 --> 01:06:38,619 It wants some walking around money, and it wants to buy some shoes. 1228 01:06:38,728 --> 01:06:43,256 And it wants to walk up with the people and say, "Hey, Gator don't play no shit." 1229 01:06:43,599 --> 01:06:44,964 - You feel me? - Yeah. 1230 01:06:45,067 --> 01:06:49,128 Gator never been about that, never been about playing no shit. 1231 01:06:52,174 --> 01:06:54,165 - Sweetie, I'm sorry. - It's okay. 1232 01:06:54,810 --> 01:06:58,177 - I just... - Remember that night we met? 1233 01:06:58,948 --> 01:07:03,612 The attending physician told me, "We got a drugged-out pimp in the back." 1234 01:07:04,353 --> 01:07:07,789 And I went back there, and I pulled open that curtain, 1235 01:07:07,857 --> 01:07:09,415 and I saw you. 1236 01:07:10,159 --> 01:07:12,491 You were weak, scared, 1237 01:07:13,062 --> 01:07:17,158 ass up, inflamed, crying. 1238 01:07:17,266 --> 01:07:22,363 At that moment, I knew. "Hey, he's no pimp. Pimps don't cry." 1239 01:07:23,339 --> 01:07:27,833 Pimps don't cry 1240 01:07:29,145 --> 01:07:31,670 Pimps don't cry 1241 01:07:31,781 --> 01:07:34,682 No, they don't 1242 01:07:35,051 --> 01:07:38,020 They don't shed a tear 1243 01:07:38,721 --> 01:07:44,057 Pimps don't cry 1244 01:07:44,326 --> 01:07:46,226 They never shed a tear 1245 01:07:51,133 --> 01:07:54,569 Come lay with me. Be safe, and let's make love. Come on. 1246 01:07:54,670 --> 01:07:57,070 Every time you say, "Be safe," it tears me apart. 1247 01:07:57,173 --> 01:07:59,733 You gotta let me be who I'm gonna be. 1248 01:08:01,343 --> 01:08:03,834 Allen, I'm pregnant. 1249 01:08:04,713 --> 01:08:06,078 Whose baby is that? 1250 01:08:06,182 --> 01:08:09,640 Who's the man who did that to you? Gator's bitches better be using jimmies! 1251 01:08:11,487 --> 01:08:14,547 I'm sorry. See, that's what I'm talking about. 1252 01:08:14,657 --> 01:08:16,249 Oh, my God. 1253 01:08:18,160 --> 01:08:19,559 You need to leave. 1254 01:08:19,662 --> 01:08:23,257 Get out! Get out, Allen! Get out! 1255 01:08:40,049 --> 01:08:40,947 Hey. 1256 01:08:42,218 --> 01:08:44,743 Hey. What are you doing here? 1257 01:08:47,223 --> 01:08:52,286 Come here when I have lady troubles, which means I come here about every night. 1258 01:08:52,394 --> 01:08:54,419 What are you doing here? 1259 01:08:55,598 --> 01:08:58,089 Sheila and I got into it tonight. 1260 01:08:58,968 --> 01:09:01,266 She threw me out. 1261 01:09:02,304 --> 01:09:05,364 Well, you're not a cop till your wife throws you out of the house, partner. 1262 01:09:05,441 --> 01:09:09,275 Does it bother you that the Castien robbers only took 74 grand in diamonds? 1263 01:09:09,612 --> 01:09:12,080 They're junkies. Who cares? I mean... 1264 01:09:12,148 --> 01:09:15,948 I don't know if a junkie can go down a 20-story zipline, though. 1265 01:09:16,051 --> 01:09:16,949 How you fellas doing? 1266 01:09:18,621 --> 01:09:21,784 We're about to have us a little screw party in this red Prius over here 1267 01:09:21,891 --> 01:09:23,085 if you wanna join us. 1268 01:09:23,192 --> 01:09:25,251 You're not going anywhere near that Prius, okay? 1269 01:09:25,594 --> 01:09:28,461 Here's what we're talking about. We're talking about a bunch of hobos 1270 01:09:28,898 --> 01:09:30,832 with fingers in each other's pooper 1271 01:09:30,900 --> 01:09:33,698 in a stranger's car with talk radio playing really loud. 1272 01:09:33,769 --> 01:09:34,929 It's gonna be a nice evening. 1273 01:09:35,304 --> 01:09:37,602 Well, we're not participating in that. We have no interest. 1274 01:09:37,806 --> 01:09:38,898 Let me rephrase it. 1275 01:09:39,308 --> 01:09:42,141 We got a jar of old mustard, and we got a poodle, 1276 01:09:42,344 --> 01:09:45,507 and we're just get in there and we're gonna put some D's in some A's. 1277 01:09:45,848 --> 01:09:47,679 Hey, are you Dirty Mike and the boys? 1278 01:09:47,750 --> 01:09:50,275 - How do you know who we are? - You left a note in that car. 1279 01:09:50,386 --> 01:09:52,946 - Police, shithead. - He's a copper. We gotta go. Come on! 1280 01:09:53,055 --> 01:09:54,886 Hey! Goose it, boys! They're cops! 1281 01:09:55,357 --> 01:09:57,120 Rub your dicks on the car as you're running away! 1282 01:09:57,193 --> 01:09:59,525 You turned my beautiful Prius into a nightmare! 1283 01:09:59,628 --> 01:10:03,291 We are gonna have sex in your car! It will happen again! 1284 01:10:05,434 --> 01:10:07,129 I don't know where I'm gonna sleep tonight. 1285 01:10:07,203 --> 01:10:09,000 Fortunately, I know where you're gonna be drinking. 1286 01:10:09,104 --> 01:10:11,436 Jack of All Trades. Drinks on me. Come on. 1287 01:10:11,974 --> 01:10:13,669 - No, I already have a beer. - No, no, no, no. 1288 01:10:14,009 --> 01:10:16,341 I'm talking about doing some serious drinking. 1289 01:10:16,445 --> 01:10:17,776 Drinking with Terry Hoitz. 1290 01:11:06,662 --> 01:11:08,527 This sucks, man. Work our ass off on this case, 1291 01:11:08,597 --> 01:11:10,189 now we gotta hand over all of our evidence? 1292 01:11:10,266 --> 01:11:11,528 Yeah, it's not right. 1293 01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:13,659 Oh, my God, I'm hungover. 1294 01:11:16,005 --> 01:11:16,801 So, you guys are law enforcement? 1295 01:11:17,473 --> 01:11:19,407 Yeah, we're an independent government agency who, 1296 01:11:19,475 --> 01:11:21,375 along with the FBI and the Federal Reserve, 1297 01:11:21,443 --> 01:11:23,604 regulate the stock market and corporate fraud. 1298 01:11:23,946 --> 01:11:26,574 And the Federal Reserve is a prison? 1299 01:11:26,815 --> 01:11:29,579 No, basically, it's a held-for-profit bank that sets interest rates 1300 01:11:29,652 --> 01:11:30,778 and loans money to other banks. 1301 01:11:31,620 --> 01:11:33,815 - Is that a wastebasket? - Yeah, right there. 1302 01:11:33,922 --> 01:11:35,287 Thank you. 1303 01:11:36,992 --> 01:11:40,325 - You all right? - Holy hell! 1304 01:11:41,964 --> 01:11:43,659 I'm so sorry. 1305 01:11:44,266 --> 01:11:45,631 I got so drunk last night. 1306 01:11:45,734 --> 01:11:49,602 I think I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. 1307 01:11:50,673 --> 01:11:52,470 Come on in, fellas. 1308 01:11:53,575 --> 01:11:55,770 You gotta be kidding me. You're Ershon's lawyer. 1309 01:11:55,844 --> 01:11:57,607 We're turning over our investigation to you? 1310 01:11:58,013 --> 01:12:00,277 Let me assure you there will be no conflict of interest 1311 01:12:00,349 --> 01:12:01,816 between me and David Ershon. 1312 01:12:01,917 --> 01:12:06,013 And if this were an actual investigation, I would immediately recuse myself. 1313 01:12:06,121 --> 01:12:10,353 This is all the evidence we have, and I truly hope you take this seriously. 1314 01:12:10,459 --> 01:12:11,756 Yes. Very much so. 1315 01:12:11,827 --> 01:12:13,590 From everything I've heard, I understand 1316 01:12:13,662 --> 01:12:16,927 you guys are the best at these types of investigations. 1317 01:12:16,999 --> 01:12:19,763 Outside of Enron and AIG 1318 01:12:19,835 --> 01:12:21,302 and Bernie Madoff, 1319 01:12:21,937 --> 01:12:24,633 WorldCom, Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers. 1320 01:12:24,707 --> 01:12:26,607 Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Detective. 1321 01:12:26,675 --> 01:12:28,472 - Would you like a seat, or you're fine? - No, I'm good. 1322 01:12:28,544 --> 01:12:30,171 Okay. Let me just assure you fellas, 1323 01:12:30,646 --> 01:12:33,137 David Ershon is an upstanding citizen. 1324 01:12:33,882 --> 01:12:35,645 I am playing squash with him tonight at the club, 1325 01:12:35,718 --> 01:12:36,548 and we're having dinner. 1326 01:12:37,119 --> 01:12:39,212 You listen to me, you Windsor knot-wearing monkey, 1327 01:12:39,321 --> 01:12:41,380 you play squash with Ershon, right? 1328 01:12:41,490 --> 01:12:44,721 Your kids go to school with his? How would you know if he's clean or not? 1329 01:12:44,827 --> 01:12:46,488 I will take a look at your evidence, 1330 01:12:46,562 --> 01:12:47,790 and I will take a second look at the financials. 1331 01:12:48,497 --> 01:12:50,556 And when I come back and bust your ass, 1332 01:12:50,666 --> 01:12:53,157 we're locking David Ershon in the Federal Reserve! 1333 01:12:53,235 --> 01:12:54,702 He still doesn't understand the concept. 1334 01:13:16,125 --> 01:13:17,649 What are you doing? 1335 01:13:18,193 --> 01:13:21,492 We just handed all of our evidence over to the bad guy's lawyer! 1336 01:13:21,563 --> 01:13:23,827 Are you a big man, huh? 1337 01:13:23,899 --> 01:13:25,366 - I'm talking to you. - What? 1338 01:13:25,534 --> 01:13:28,298 You wake up in the morning, you say, "I'm putting on my big boy pants"? 1339 01:13:28,370 --> 01:13:29,598 "Look, I'm wearing a belt! 1340 01:13:29,705 --> 01:13:31,832 - "I've got big boy pants on!" - No! 1341 01:13:32,074 --> 01:13:33,837 You borrow a little jacket, you go? 1342 01:13:34,042 --> 01:13:36,101 You take your lunch 'cause you got big boy pants on? 1343 01:13:36,612 --> 01:13:38,443 You got your big boy pants and your snack? 1344 01:13:39,214 --> 01:13:40,841 I could say big, loud things! 1345 01:13:41,350 --> 01:13:42,749 I could be demonstrative! 1346 01:13:43,085 --> 01:13:44,985 - Stop! - We don't, we don't do this! 1347 01:13:45,087 --> 01:13:47,180 You're scaring the shit out of me, man! Stop it! 1348 01:13:47,289 --> 01:13:50,486 Is this how you conduct yourself? In a democracy? 1349 01:13:50,592 --> 01:13:52,253 What the hell are you doing, man? 1350 01:13:52,694 --> 01:13:57,097 I'm so tired of you getting angry and yelling all the time. 1351 01:13:58,000 --> 01:13:59,661 It's exhausting. 1352 01:14:01,804 --> 01:14:03,669 I feel like I'm partners with the Hulk. 1353 01:14:04,106 --> 01:14:06,597 You wanna know why I'm so angry all the time? 1354 01:14:06,675 --> 01:14:10,042 'Cause the more I try and do right, the more I screw things up. 1355 01:14:10,779 --> 01:14:15,807 We've got a possible jumper at 3 World Financial Center, 23rd floor. 1356 01:14:15,884 --> 01:14:18,148 All units, fire department, en route. 1357 01:14:18,220 --> 01:14:20,347 - SEC. - Beaman's office. 1358 01:14:20,923 --> 01:14:21,981 We have to go. 1359 01:14:22,191 --> 01:14:23,954 - But the Captain. - We have to go, Allen. 1360 01:14:24,026 --> 01:14:28,725 All units, I need a respondent. Possible jumper, 3 World Financial Center. 1361 01:14:39,875 --> 01:14:42,070 Shit. It's Beaman! 1362 01:14:42,878 --> 01:14:45,711 - He's gotta know something. - Wesley! 1363 01:14:45,981 --> 01:14:47,812 Detective Hoitz and Gamble. We got this. 1364 01:14:48,250 --> 01:14:50,343 I took an online class at University of Phoenix on negotiating. 1365 01:14:50,919 --> 01:14:53,080 I'm gonna need a priest and a bullhorn. 1366 01:14:53,188 --> 01:14:55,554 - I got no bullhorn. - Does anyone have a bullhorn? 1367 01:14:55,657 --> 01:14:57,852 - Bullhorn, anyone? - Truck. 1368 01:14:58,894 --> 01:15:00,885 Police business. I need to use your PA system. 1369 01:15:00,996 --> 01:15:02,224 Okay, let me turn it on. 1370 01:15:04,166 --> 01:15:06,999 Mr. Beaman? Mr. Don Beaman? 1371 01:15:07,069 --> 01:15:10,266 It's Wesley. I know Ershon's Wesley's... 1372 01:15:10,372 --> 01:15:13,205 Look, there's a lot to live for in this life. 1373 01:15:13,275 --> 01:15:18,338 A lot of great things, like soda pop, big fresh can of soda pop. 1374 01:15:18,413 --> 01:15:19,778 They do not care! 1375 01:15:19,882 --> 01:15:22,180 Give me this. I know how to talk to him. 1376 01:15:22,251 --> 01:15:25,914 Listen, we all know you're a scumbag, and nobody cares about you. 1377 01:15:26,021 --> 01:15:27,352 Rotten piece of shit. 1378 01:15:27,422 --> 01:15:29,390 That's worse than what I was saying. 1379 01:15:29,791 --> 01:15:31,383 I'm not gonna lie to you, Don. 1380 01:15:31,460 --> 01:15:35,226 People down here are starting to murmur that you don't have the balls to do it. 1381 01:15:35,597 --> 01:15:37,622 - I don't care! - Yeah. 1382 01:15:37,733 --> 01:15:40,065 I say you can do it. 1383 01:15:40,802 --> 01:15:44,795 I mean, I don't want you to jump. I'm just saying you have the capability. 1384 01:15:45,407 --> 01:15:46,465 Look, he's flying! 1385 01:15:52,214 --> 01:15:53,442 Stop that. 1386 01:15:54,216 --> 01:15:56,081 Half empty bottle of gin. Chair knocked over. 1387 01:15:56,151 --> 01:15:59,143 Look at this, it's a clear sign of a struggle. Make sure you get this, all right? 1388 01:16:00,022 --> 01:16:02,889 Detectives, all your work's done here. You can go. 1389 01:16:02,958 --> 01:16:04,550 What about Ershon targeting the lottery? 1390 01:16:04,626 --> 01:16:08,790 You know why Ershon was calling down to the lottery offices all those times? 1391 01:16:08,897 --> 01:16:10,888 Because he was hooking up with the Powerball girl, 1392 01:16:10,966 --> 01:16:13,264 the one on TV with all the numbered balls. 1393 01:16:13,368 --> 01:16:15,529 Yeah. She filed a restraining order on him last week. 1394 01:16:16,038 --> 01:16:17,869 It was right there in front of you the whole time. 1395 01:16:17,940 --> 01:16:19,908 - Can't be. - You guys are getting transferred. 1396 01:16:19,975 --> 01:16:22,102 - What? - Traffic. 1397 01:16:22,210 --> 01:16:23,302 Yeah, that's right. 1398 01:16:23,412 --> 01:16:27,075 You, you're gonna walk a beat downtown. You're gonna walk a beat downtown. 1399 01:16:27,149 --> 01:16:29,481 - It's done. No, no. It's done. - Captain, what are you talking about? 1400 01:16:29,585 --> 01:16:31,450 - Save yourselves some gas. - Captain! 1401 01:16:31,987 --> 01:16:33,386 Is there an appeal process we can... 1402 01:16:33,455 --> 01:16:36,618 Had to do what you had to do, Captain. 1403 01:16:36,725 --> 01:16:38,920 Wow! That hurt. 1404 01:16:41,063 --> 01:16:43,224 - Excuse me. Where's my car? - They towed it. 1405 01:16:43,298 --> 01:16:45,766 Couple of homeless people were messing around in it. 1406 01:16:45,834 --> 01:16:49,497 - That's an official police car. - Could have fooled me. 1407 01:16:54,643 --> 01:16:55,940 Wow, Mauch was upset, huh? 1408 01:16:56,478 --> 01:16:57,638 Really? 1409 01:16:57,746 --> 01:17:00,112 The only thing I had to be proud of in my life was being a detective. 1410 01:17:00,182 --> 01:17:02,742 That was all I had. Now it's gone. 1411 01:17:03,485 --> 01:17:05,976 I know. I know. You still got me. 1412 01:17:06,088 --> 01:17:09,615 Don't you get it? I don't want you, Allen, okay? I never did. 1413 01:17:09,691 --> 01:17:11,921 I told you that scaffolding violation was dogshit. 1414 01:17:12,260 --> 01:17:14,353 I can't believe you still doubt me after everything we've seen. 1415 01:17:14,463 --> 01:17:18,991 It's a real case, and I'm a real cop. We just got the wrong target for Ershon. 1416 01:17:19,101 --> 01:17:21,331 - You carry a rape whistle. - This is real cop work. 1417 01:17:21,436 --> 01:17:24,269 There is nothing about you that makes a man a man, okay? 1418 01:17:24,339 --> 01:17:27,775 You got no gun, no car, no wife, and now you got no partner. 1419 01:17:27,843 --> 01:17:29,435 Leave me alone. 1420 01:17:30,045 --> 01:17:31,535 A mutt case. 1421 01:17:31,647 --> 01:17:34,172 Terry, I am a cop, for your information, okay? 1422 01:17:34,282 --> 01:17:36,443 A broken partnership. 1423 01:17:36,518 --> 01:17:37,644 I'm a cop! 1424 01:17:37,719 --> 01:17:41,382 And getting busted down to a shitty assignment. 1425 01:17:41,490 --> 01:17:44,550 Allen and Terry hit the trifecta. 1426 01:17:47,329 --> 01:17:50,389 But sometimes when you get your ass kicked, 1427 01:17:51,633 --> 01:17:54,329 that's when you find out what's real... 1428 01:17:56,672 --> 01:17:58,697 ...and what needs doing. 1429 01:18:04,646 --> 01:18:06,705 Whether it's directing traffic... 1430 01:18:06,815 --> 01:18:07,839 Come on! 1431 01:18:08,316 --> 01:18:11,752 ...or cracking a multibillion dollar fraud. 1432 01:18:23,231 --> 01:18:25,324 - Do you work here? - Yeah, I do. 1433 01:18:25,400 --> 01:18:28,233 The wrecking ball that crashed into Castien down there. 1434 01:18:28,336 --> 01:18:29,894 They also did damage to your office? 1435 01:18:30,005 --> 01:18:32,530 Some police officers came by and sealed it off. 1436 01:18:32,607 --> 01:18:33,938 Do you recall what they looked like? 1437 01:18:34,042 --> 01:18:36,738 One of them had an Australian accent. 1438 01:18:37,279 --> 01:18:41,079 You don't happen to do any business for the state lottery, do you? 1439 01:18:41,183 --> 01:18:44,550 No. Our main client is Lendl Global. 1440 01:18:44,619 --> 01:18:46,246 Can I ask what this is about? 1441 01:18:59,701 --> 01:19:01,931 Gator needs his gat, you punkass bitch! 1442 01:19:11,313 --> 01:19:13,406 'Cause that's what a real cop is. 1443 01:19:13,482 --> 01:19:15,973 No, I didn't say "Lock her up." I never said, "Lock her up." 1444 01:19:16,084 --> 01:19:18,882 A guy who does what needs to be done. 1445 01:19:18,954 --> 01:19:22,913 A guy who knows how to use his dark side for good. 1446 01:19:22,991 --> 01:19:24,618 And then you move to Florida. 1447 01:19:33,935 --> 01:19:35,061 One, two, three, attack! 1448 01:19:37,773 --> 01:19:38,967 Terry, it's me. 1449 01:19:39,074 --> 01:19:41,304 - Tap out. Tap out. - It's me, Allen. 1450 01:19:41,409 --> 01:19:42,967 Are you tapping out, or are you hitting me in the face? 1451 01:19:43,078 --> 01:19:44,739 I'm tapping out! 1452 01:19:45,614 --> 01:19:48,640 You crazy? What are you doing, man? 1453 01:19:48,750 --> 01:19:50,183 - They might be watching us. - Could've killed you. 1454 01:19:50,285 --> 01:19:51,411 - Turn out the lights. - What? 1455 01:19:51,486 --> 01:19:52,578 - They could be watching us. - Who? 1456 01:19:52,921 --> 01:19:55,446 I found some big information, okay? 1457 01:19:55,524 --> 01:19:58,652 - About what? - Some scary shit, Terry. This is big. 1458 01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:01,758 How'd you get in here? This place is foolproof. 1459 01:20:01,830 --> 01:20:04,298 - We can't be too careful. - What are you talking about? 1460 01:20:04,366 --> 01:20:07,529 - This place might be bugged. - There's no bugs in here. 1461 01:20:11,807 --> 01:20:14,799 First off, I missed you. 1462 01:20:14,876 --> 01:20:17,674 - What's going on? - Did you hear what I said? 1463 01:20:17,779 --> 01:20:21,772 - Fine, I kind of missed you, too. - Thank you. 1464 01:20:21,850 --> 01:20:26,150 Okay. I found out whose losses Ershon has to cover. 1465 01:20:26,221 --> 01:20:28,519 - It's Lendl Global. - What? 1466 01:20:28,623 --> 01:20:31,148 Lendl staged the Castien robbery as a distraction 1467 01:20:31,226 --> 01:20:34,218 so they could break into their own accounting firm next door. 1468 01:20:34,329 --> 01:20:37,526 They then altered all the records to cover the losses 1469 01:20:37,632 --> 01:20:40,396 that Ershon had cost them through all of his bad investments. 1470 01:20:40,635 --> 01:20:43,968 You're not supposed to be doing this. You're supposed to be walking the beat. 1471 01:20:44,039 --> 01:20:46,633 I know. Pretty tricky, though, huh? 1472 01:20:47,142 --> 01:20:49,167 This is bad, Allen. This is bad. 1473 01:20:49,244 --> 01:20:51,712 No wonder the captain wanted us to stay out of this. 1474 01:20:51,813 --> 01:20:53,906 Yeah, I bet Beaman started asking questions. 1475 01:20:54,015 --> 01:20:55,983 - That's why they killed him. - Man. 1476 01:20:56,051 --> 01:20:57,211 Here's the other thing. 1477 01:20:57,319 --> 01:20:59,310 Tomorrow, there's a massive business deal going down. 1478 01:20:59,521 --> 01:21:00,886 Ershon's leading it. 1479 01:21:00,989 --> 01:21:03,856 I still can't figure out who the poor sucker is they're making the deal with, 1480 01:21:03,925 --> 01:21:05,085 but we gotta stop it. 1481 01:21:05,193 --> 01:21:06,854 It's time to let the peacock fly. 1482 01:21:07,896 --> 01:21:09,761 I'm not going, Allen. I like what I do. 1483 01:21:10,198 --> 01:21:12,325 So do I. We're cops. 1484 01:21:12,400 --> 01:21:16,928 No. I like what I do now. I like working traffic. It's a great gig. 1485 01:21:17,038 --> 01:21:18,062 What? 1486 01:21:18,673 --> 01:21:22,439 I like working traffic. I'm not going with you. 1487 01:21:22,544 --> 01:21:25,035 What is this traffic bullshit? 1488 01:21:28,850 --> 01:21:32,377 - What are you talking about? - I'm talking about my life. 1489 01:21:32,454 --> 01:21:35,184 The corner I run on 54th and 3rd Avenue? It hums. 1490 01:21:35,257 --> 01:21:38,954 It's Terry's intersection. And the traffic guys? They're good guys. 1491 01:21:39,060 --> 01:21:42,086 There's this one guy, Phillip? He can pee in the urinal from 20 feet. 1492 01:21:42,197 --> 01:21:43,357 You've gotta see it, Allen. You've got to. 1493 01:21:43,431 --> 01:21:46,059 What happened to you? What happened to this being our time? 1494 01:21:46,368 --> 01:21:48,529 No way, Allen. I'm out. I'm done. 1495 01:21:49,771 --> 01:21:52,638 - Get in the car. - Come on, Allen. We both know it's wooden. 1496 01:21:54,209 --> 01:21:58,043 - Apartment pop. Now get in the car. - You're not gonna shoot me. 1497 01:21:58,113 --> 01:22:00,638 Okay, I'll be honest. This is only the second time I've ever fired this. 1498 01:22:00,882 --> 01:22:02,076 So stop pointing it at me. 1499 01:22:02,150 --> 01:22:06,211 Look, tomorrow morning, all I know is I'm going to Mauch, all right? 1500 01:22:06,454 --> 01:22:07,614 For what? He doesn't care. 1501 01:22:07,722 --> 01:22:10,885 He's been dodging this case for too long and I want answers. 1502 01:22:10,959 --> 01:22:13,223 I want him to look me in the eye and tell me why. 1503 01:22:13,295 --> 01:22:16,093 Turn on the news, man. Nobody cares. 1504 01:22:16,765 --> 01:22:18,130 I hope I'm not alone. 1505 01:22:18,934 --> 01:22:21,459 Hope you bring it. 1506 01:22:23,171 --> 01:22:25,298 We got a big day out there. Big one. 1507 01:22:25,407 --> 01:22:27,898 We got a full moon. People are gonna be amped, all right? 1508 01:22:28,276 --> 01:22:30,767 Let's see what we got on hot tips, all right? 1509 01:22:32,314 --> 01:22:33,406 The new bathmats are in. 1510 01:22:36,251 --> 01:22:40,449 One more thing. We got a serial rapist in Crown Heights. 1511 01:22:40,522 --> 01:22:44,014 Jeez, I'm sorry. That's from my other job. Ignore that. Forget that. 1512 01:22:44,125 --> 01:22:45,285 Well, don't ignore it. 1513 01:22:45,360 --> 01:22:48,591 If you live in Crown Heights, you know, walk in pairs. 1514 01:22:48,663 --> 01:22:52,997 Gene Mauch to kitchen accessories. Gene Mauch to kitchen accessories. 1515 01:22:53,101 --> 01:22:56,696 I gotta go. Go get 'em. Let's be careful out there. 1516 01:22:58,773 --> 01:22:59,933 The oak. 1517 01:23:00,008 --> 01:23:03,535 I like to keep the oak together and the maple separately, okay? 1518 01:23:03,645 --> 01:23:04,703 And these chopping boards? 1519 01:23:04,980 --> 01:23:06,038 Hey, Captain. 1520 01:23:07,482 --> 01:23:10,007 Hey, Allen. Hey, how you doing? 1521 01:23:10,118 --> 01:23:11,881 What are you doing here? Are you here for the bathmats? 1522 01:23:12,387 --> 01:23:16,050 - I need you to be straight with me. - Straight with us. 1523 01:23:16,157 --> 01:23:18,853 Hey, Terry. Look at this. 1524 01:23:18,960 --> 01:23:22,623 - I thought you were working traffic today. - Let them block the box. 1525 01:23:23,031 --> 01:23:26,489 - Besides, partners' code, right? - Thanks. 1526 01:23:28,036 --> 01:23:30,630 Hey, why have you worked your ass off trying to kill this case? 1527 01:23:32,073 --> 01:23:35,167 All right, fine. I'm gonna tell you guys something. 1528 01:23:35,243 --> 01:23:38,542 You really went into deep water on this one. You really went in deep. 1529 01:23:38,646 --> 01:23:40,580 Ershon's connected to all the higher ups, 1530 01:23:40,682 --> 01:23:43,549 and I gotta save what little ass I have left, okay? 1531 01:23:44,185 --> 01:23:46,346 You keep hiding from shit in the world, 1532 01:23:46,421 --> 01:23:48,685 and eventually the world comes to your front door. 1533 01:23:49,157 --> 01:23:51,387 - Nice. - That's very nice. 1534 01:23:51,493 --> 01:23:53,051 I heard it in an episode of Touched By An Angel. 1535 01:23:53,595 --> 01:23:57,588 You keep this thing real quiet, and you make sure you have real evidence, 1536 01:23:57,699 --> 01:23:59,257 and maybe I'll see what I can do. 1537 01:23:59,367 --> 01:24:00,561 But if you make a lot of noise 1538 01:24:00,668 --> 01:24:03,831 and you attract the media attention, and you bring the DA in on this, 1539 01:24:03,905 --> 01:24:05,429 I am out, okay? 1540 01:24:05,573 --> 01:24:06,870 Yeah, we'll go in there like church mice. 1541 01:24:06,941 --> 01:24:11,344 But there's one case, one case in a career where you go all in. 1542 01:24:11,413 --> 01:24:12,539 This is it. 1543 01:24:13,114 --> 01:24:16,447 All right. Then you do us proud. 1544 01:24:16,951 --> 01:24:18,248 'Cause I don't want no scrubs. 1545 01:24:18,953 --> 01:24:21,513 - Really? - No. 1546 01:24:21,589 --> 01:24:24,922 - You're not aware that's a TLC song? - I have no idea what you're talking about. 1547 01:24:25,193 --> 01:24:26,592 - Second time. - You said chasing waterfalls, 1548 01:24:26,694 --> 01:24:27,854 now you're saying you don't want no scrubs. 1549 01:24:27,929 --> 01:24:29,726 - I don't even understand the reference. - It's like a tic. 1550 01:24:29,798 --> 01:24:30,924 I have no idea what you're talking about. 1551 01:24:31,032 --> 01:24:33,296 Remember, this thing gets messy, we never talked. 1552 01:24:33,735 --> 01:24:35,430 - You can trust us. - Real quiet. 1553 01:24:35,537 --> 01:24:37,801 You gotta creep. Creep. 1554 01:24:38,073 --> 01:24:39,370 Come on. 1555 01:24:40,308 --> 01:24:42,799 You don't say "Creep-creep" unless you're quoting TLC. 1556 01:24:43,078 --> 01:24:44,443 Hey, guys. 1557 01:24:45,413 --> 01:24:47,278 You know Danson and Highsmith were not good cops, right? 1558 01:24:47,949 --> 01:24:49,746 Yeah, I guess we kind of knew that, but it's a drag. 1559 01:24:49,818 --> 01:24:51,718 I mean, at a certain point, who's left to be a hero? 1560 01:24:52,053 --> 01:24:55,216 Not to be corny, maybe it's you guys. 1561 01:24:56,658 --> 01:24:58,216 You ready? 1562 01:24:58,293 --> 01:24:59,954 - Yeah. - Let's go. 1563 01:25:08,470 --> 01:25:10,836 - No, but the highlights are great. - Thank you. 1564 01:25:10,939 --> 01:25:12,998 - Sexy but serious. - Thank you. 1565 01:25:13,108 --> 01:25:14,473 Excuse me. 1566 01:25:15,477 --> 01:25:18,139 Who the hell are all these people? I was only expecting one man. 1567 01:25:18,246 --> 01:25:22,740 You know, they're just some people I owe money to who wanted to be here. 1568 01:25:22,817 --> 01:25:23,909 Who are they? 1569 01:25:25,420 --> 01:25:30,119 Well, they are some Chechen patriots, entrepreneurs. 1570 01:25:30,191 --> 01:25:36,027 And the black chaps are some businessmen from Nigeria. 1571 01:25:36,131 --> 01:25:38,326 You owe money to the Nigerians and Chechens? 1572 01:25:38,433 --> 01:25:39,923 Yes. Yes, I do. 1573 01:25:40,001 --> 01:25:43,164 - You're a piece of work. - Thank you. 1574 01:25:43,338 --> 01:25:46,705 Probably best to get started. 1575 01:25:47,142 --> 01:25:50,600 This is good, baby. We're in the game, we know the score. 1576 01:25:50,678 --> 01:25:53,613 The only thing that bugs me is we still don't know who Ershon's targeting. 1577 01:25:53,681 --> 01:25:57,777 - Is it the lotto? Who is it? - Who cares? Some rich prick. 1578 01:25:57,852 --> 01:26:03,813 I have to tell you, I am tremendously excited by this deal. 1579 01:26:03,892 --> 01:26:06,360 And I can assure you that every dime of your money 1580 01:26:06,461 --> 01:26:09,487 will be invested with the utmost diligence. 1581 01:26:09,564 --> 01:26:11,532 Your rates of return are really exciting. 1582 01:26:11,633 --> 01:26:13,157 We think our members are gonna be just thrilled. 1583 01:26:13,234 --> 01:26:17,068 Yeah. I mean, we've averaged, like, 18% over the last 10 years. 1584 01:26:18,173 --> 01:26:20,368 All right. Quiet as a church mouse, in and out. 1585 01:26:20,475 --> 01:26:22,705 I can feel that tingling in my balls you were talking about. 1586 01:26:22,810 --> 01:26:23,868 Beautiful. 1587 01:26:23,978 --> 01:26:25,377 All right, listen up. 1588 01:26:25,480 --> 01:26:28,381 I am Detective Gamble. This is Detective Hoitz. 1589 01:26:28,483 --> 01:26:30,644 We need your cooperation. 1590 01:26:30,718 --> 01:26:32,185 David Ershon. 1591 01:26:32,253 --> 01:26:34,585 You're under arrest for fraud, embezzlement, 1592 01:26:34,689 --> 01:26:36,384 and in connection to the murder of Don Beaman. 1593 01:26:36,891 --> 01:26:38,324 This is a bad idea. 1594 01:26:38,826 --> 01:26:40,191 Hey, guys. 1595 01:26:41,763 --> 01:26:44,231 Bob? What are you doing here? 1596 01:26:44,699 --> 01:26:46,030 I'm investing. 1597 01:26:46,100 --> 01:26:48,534 Do you remember we talked about that proxy vote a while back? 1598 01:26:48,603 --> 01:26:50,230 - This is what it was for. - Holy shit. 1599 01:26:50,338 --> 01:26:52,863 It's a more aggressive investment strategy for the pension. 1600 01:26:52,941 --> 01:26:57,173 Allen! We're the suckers. They're targeting the police pension fund. 1601 01:27:03,518 --> 01:27:07,147 Gentlemen, you're here illegally and without a warrant. 1602 01:27:08,056 --> 01:27:09,523 We are within our rights to take action. 1603 01:28:07,915 --> 01:28:09,712 So much for quiet as church mice! 1604 01:28:10,285 --> 01:28:11,377 Go! 1605 01:28:16,524 --> 01:28:17,889 Who the hell are those guys? 1606 01:28:17,959 --> 01:28:21,019 Gentlemen, I can get you obstructed view tickets for Rock of Ages. 1607 01:28:21,095 --> 01:28:25,054 Even I admit that's not very tempting, but I'm not made of tickets, God damn it! 1608 01:28:25,133 --> 01:28:27,101 - Get in the front! - How do you start this freaking thing? 1609 01:28:27,368 --> 01:28:28,357 Go on! Go! 1610 01:28:29,103 --> 01:28:30,092 - Shit! - Go! 1611 01:28:32,573 --> 01:28:33,562 Oh, my... 1612 01:28:34,976 --> 01:28:37,843 Jeanie! Get over here! You, go get the bloody car! 1613 01:29:24,425 --> 01:29:25,414 Hold the wheel! 1614 01:29:31,132 --> 01:29:33,498 - Open the back! - I got it. I got it! 1615 01:29:41,509 --> 01:29:44,444 They're gonna kill me. And then they will kill you. 1616 01:29:44,545 --> 01:29:46,945 - Well, I'm gonna kill you first! - And then they will kill me. 1617 01:29:47,048 --> 01:29:50,074 We have two rogue police officers. They are armed and dangerous, 1618 01:29:50,184 --> 01:29:51,845 - and holding David Ershon hostage. - Stupid pricks! 1619 01:29:51,919 --> 01:29:55,411 - It's us, we're good guys! - Exactly. They're the good guys. 1620 01:29:55,523 --> 01:29:57,684 Where do we go? Where do we go? 1621 01:29:57,759 --> 01:30:00,421 I have a small apartment. No one knows about it. 1622 01:30:00,528 --> 01:30:03,224 I use it mainly for my parents and prostitutes. 1623 01:30:03,297 --> 01:30:05,390 Not at the same time. That would be wrong. 1624 01:30:08,636 --> 01:30:11,332 Let's hear it from the top, every detail. 1625 01:30:11,906 --> 01:30:16,536 I think the best way to tell the story is by starting at the end, briefly, 1626 01:30:16,611 --> 01:30:21,605 then going back to the beginning, and then periodically returning to the end, 1627 01:30:21,716 --> 01:30:24,776 maybe giving different characters' perspectives throughout. 1628 01:30:24,886 --> 01:30:28,185 Just to give it a bit of dynamism, otherwise, it's just sort of a linear story. 1629 01:30:28,256 --> 01:30:29,416 Just tell us what happened. 1630 01:30:29,524 --> 01:30:32,254 I lost a bunch of money from some people and now they want it back. 1631 01:30:32,593 --> 01:30:33,890 What about Don Beaman? 1632 01:30:33,961 --> 01:30:36,452 Beaman knew that I had falsified my financials, 1633 01:30:36,564 --> 01:30:38,862 so they sent down Wesley to try and keep him quiet. 1634 01:30:39,567 --> 01:30:41,432 He forced him at gunpoint to drink a bunch of gin 1635 01:30:41,536 --> 01:30:43,561 and then forced him onto the ledge. 1636 01:30:43,638 --> 01:30:45,367 It was only a matter of time before he fell. 1637 01:30:45,440 --> 01:30:48,876 At least we stopped you from getting the pension fund. 1638 01:30:48,943 --> 01:30:52,208 Well, but, yeah, but you didn't. It's already in my account. 1639 01:30:52,280 --> 01:30:54,874 By 9:00 in the morning, it goes into the Lendl equity fund 1640 01:30:54,949 --> 01:30:57,645 and from there it's transferred to a dozen offshore accounts. 1641 01:30:57,752 --> 01:30:59,276 By 9:01, it's gone. 1642 01:30:59,387 --> 01:31:02,379 - Well, what if we stop the transfer? - But you can't. I mean, there's a... 1643 01:31:02,457 --> 01:31:04,925 What if we stop the transfer? 1644 01:31:04,992 --> 01:31:07,893 You'd have to be at Endemic Bank for 9:00 exactly, 1645 01:31:07,962 --> 01:31:10,430 find the clerk, get the routing number. 1646 01:31:10,498 --> 01:31:11,556 We gotta stop it. 1647 01:31:11,632 --> 01:31:12,826 There's no way. 1648 01:31:12,934 --> 01:31:16,563 Every cop, the crazy Australian and his crew, they'll all be after us. 1649 01:31:16,637 --> 01:31:20,733 You could let me go, and I'll give you $10 million each. 1650 01:31:21,342 --> 01:31:24,402 - It's not a bribe. - Of course it's a bribe. 1651 01:31:24,479 --> 01:31:26,606 You're offering to pay us money to not do our job. 1652 01:31:28,683 --> 01:31:29,945 It's not a bribe. 1653 01:31:30,585 --> 01:31:32,985 We hang low here tonight. Nobody knows about this place. 1654 01:31:33,087 --> 01:31:34,816 We'll be safe. And tomorrow, we hit it. 1655 01:31:35,590 --> 01:31:37,114 First things first, I gotta go see Sheila. 1656 01:31:37,191 --> 01:31:38,590 No way, it's too dangerous. 1657 01:31:38,693 --> 01:31:40,991 Look, Terry, we don't know what's gonna happen to us tomorrow, 1658 01:31:41,095 --> 01:31:44,622 but tonight, I need to make things right with Sheila. 1659 01:31:45,132 --> 01:31:47,032 All right, go. Go. Be careful. 1660 01:31:47,502 --> 01:31:49,129 Thanks, I will. 1661 01:31:49,971 --> 01:31:51,199 Will you say hi to Sheila for me? 1662 01:31:51,372 --> 01:31:53,135 - Okay. - Okay. 1663 01:31:53,207 --> 01:31:56,176 Tell her. Say Terry was asking about you. 1664 01:31:56,277 --> 01:31:57,710 He wants to make sure you know 1665 01:31:57,812 --> 01:32:00,178 that he'll be there for you if anything happens. 1666 01:32:00,281 --> 01:32:02,340 - Yeah. - Drop of a hat, I'm there. 1667 01:32:02,550 --> 01:32:04,541 Look, it's starting to get a little weird, man. 1668 01:32:04,652 --> 01:32:07,553 If something happens to you, I need to be there to take care of her. 1669 01:32:07,655 --> 01:32:10,556 All of her wants, her needs, and desires are now my responsibility. 1670 01:32:10,658 --> 01:32:12,819 Why do you say it like it's a predetermined thing? 1671 01:32:13,027 --> 01:32:14,392 Just go, man. 1672 01:32:15,129 --> 01:32:16,619 Okay. Thanks. 1673 01:32:17,565 --> 01:32:18,657 Go. 1674 01:32:22,637 --> 01:32:23,797 Janeco Gallery. 1675 01:32:24,739 --> 01:32:26,832 Francine, it's Terry. Please don't hang up. 1676 01:32:37,552 --> 01:32:38,712 Please pick up. 1677 01:32:39,587 --> 01:32:40,747 Hello. 1678 01:32:40,855 --> 01:32:44,018 Hey, sweetie. I was praying you'd be at your mom's house. 1679 01:32:44,091 --> 01:32:47,356 You know what, I can't talk anymore. I think the phone's being tapped. 1680 01:32:47,595 --> 01:32:50,086 Baby, where are you? I wanna see you. 1681 01:32:50,197 --> 01:32:52,358 I'm near the place where we did it three Halloweens ago. 1682 01:32:52,433 --> 01:32:53,491 Do you remember? 1683 01:32:54,435 --> 01:32:55,834 Okay, yeah, I got it. 1684 01:32:55,903 --> 01:32:59,532 I'm just warning you, though. Watch out. I think they're watching the house. 1685 01:32:59,607 --> 01:33:02,201 Don't worry, sweetie. I think I have a way of talking to you. 1686 01:33:02,743 --> 01:33:06,679 I have to admit, I wasn't gonna come. I mean... 1687 01:33:07,848 --> 01:33:11,284 After all those years, after the restraining order. 1688 01:33:11,385 --> 01:33:14,752 I was worried I might not see you again. 1689 01:33:14,855 --> 01:33:16,447 There's some very dangerous people after him, 1690 01:33:16,557 --> 01:33:17,581 and now they're after us. 1691 01:33:20,795 --> 01:33:22,194 It's just the old lady. 1692 01:33:27,768 --> 01:33:29,201 Hello, Allen. 1693 01:33:29,270 --> 01:33:31,864 Hello, Mama Ramos. What are you doing out here? 1694 01:33:31,939 --> 01:33:35,033 Sheila said she doesn't know what happened and she wants you back. 1695 01:33:36,377 --> 01:33:38,242 - She also says... - Yes. 1696 01:33:38,312 --> 01:33:42,146 ...she wants you on top of her, holding her hair, 1697 01:33:42,249 --> 01:33:44,274 and riding her like a bucking bronco 1698 01:33:44,919 --> 01:33:48,548 while she sucks your thumb and says, "Mommy likey." 1699 01:33:49,390 --> 01:33:50,948 You, you tell your daughter... 1700 01:33:51,325 --> 01:33:53,759 He said he'll always love you. 1701 01:33:53,828 --> 01:33:56,490 And he's so happy that you're having his child. 1702 01:33:56,597 --> 01:33:57,757 Allen. 1703 01:33:57,832 --> 01:33:59,663 He also says that 1704 01:33:59,767 --> 01:34:03,794 he wants you to stare into each other's eyes without blinking while you do it. 1705 01:34:04,438 --> 01:34:06,963 - I love when we do that, Mom. - And then afterward, 1706 01:34:07,041 --> 01:34:09,009 lick the sex off each other. 1707 01:34:10,878 --> 01:34:12,778 I don't wanna do this. 1708 01:34:14,181 --> 01:34:17,582 - You say things that are too personal. - Okay, but just one more thing. 1709 01:34:17,918 --> 01:34:19,852 She said she loves you, 1710 01:34:19,920 --> 01:34:23,014 and wants to hold your hand and have iced tea with you. 1711 01:34:23,691 --> 01:34:26,216 Come on. That's not all she said. 1712 01:34:26,694 --> 01:34:27,888 No. 1713 01:34:28,963 --> 01:34:32,558 - She says other things, but I don't want... - Please, please, please. 1714 01:34:32,633 --> 01:34:34,897 You don't realize, I may be killed tomorrow. 1715 01:34:35,369 --> 01:34:36,563 Okay. 1716 01:34:39,106 --> 01:34:43,975 She says she wants to unplug all the clocks and the phones 1717 01:34:44,045 --> 01:34:47,276 - and have a three-day F marathon. - That's more like it. Yeah. 1718 01:34:47,581 --> 01:34:52,712 She wants to walk wrong for a week because you guys F'd so hard. 1719 01:34:52,787 --> 01:34:54,015 That's just lovely. 1720 01:34:54,422 --> 01:34:58,051 No more! He says things I can't say. 1721 01:34:58,125 --> 01:35:03,893 It involves a mannequin hand and an electric shaver taped to a golf club. 1722 01:35:12,440 --> 01:35:13,498 Now what'd she say? 1723 01:35:15,976 --> 01:35:17,739 She says she loves you. 1724 01:35:23,984 --> 01:35:26,316 I'm so sorry about everything. 1725 01:35:29,457 --> 01:35:32,626 And I just had to come here tonight to tell you that I love you. 1726 01:35:32,626 --> 01:35:35,595 And the reason why I act like you're a plain wife is that 1727 01:35:37,264 --> 01:35:41,325 I'm afraid that if I admit to how stunning 1728 01:35:41,435 --> 01:35:44,233 and intelligent and wonderful you are, 1729 01:35:45,106 --> 01:35:48,940 - I'd just lose you. - Shut up, Allen. I love you. 1730 01:35:49,443 --> 01:35:52,241 We have a place that's safe. All right. 1731 01:36:04,792 --> 01:36:06,020 I'm gonna break your hip. 1732 01:36:14,802 --> 01:36:17,100 I'm about to do you grandpa-style. 1733 01:36:32,520 --> 01:36:34,147 I brought some music. 1734 01:36:38,659 --> 01:36:40,650 Not what I would've chosen, but screw it. 1735 01:36:40,728 --> 01:36:43,993 All right. Let's go, Monday morning, time to go to work. 1736 01:36:44,064 --> 01:36:45,190 Let's do it. 1737 01:36:45,299 --> 01:36:47,028 - You want my gate code? - Shut up, man! 1738 01:36:54,575 --> 01:36:55,667 That's Wesley! 1739 01:37:06,720 --> 01:37:07,812 Yes! 1740 01:37:10,224 --> 01:37:12,749 - Where'd you learn to drive like that? - Grand Theft Auto! 1741 01:37:15,696 --> 01:37:16,924 Shit, Allen, they're coming. 1742 01:37:19,834 --> 01:37:22,394 - Oh, my God! - Shit. 1743 01:37:23,671 --> 01:37:25,366 - Do something, Allen! - Hold on, hold on. 1744 01:37:46,861 --> 01:37:48,658 Someone's been playing Grand Theft Auto. 1745 01:37:50,431 --> 01:37:51,762 I did that! 1746 01:37:51,866 --> 01:37:53,527 - I did that! - Oh, my God! 1747 01:37:53,601 --> 01:37:55,899 - That's what I'm talking about! - We jackknifed them! 1748 01:37:55,970 --> 01:37:58,461 Did you see that? It went backwards and then turned upside-down. 1749 01:37:58,572 --> 01:38:02,133 Gator turns vans upside-down like they're in a crazy washing machine! 1750 01:38:02,243 --> 01:38:04,177 Why are you calling yourself Gator? 1751 01:38:04,745 --> 01:38:07,509 It's a nickname I had in college. I used to run a dating service. 1752 01:38:07,581 --> 01:38:10,778 - He was a pimp. - Yeah, I was. I was a pimp. 1753 01:38:10,918 --> 01:38:13,386 Is it me or does it smell like deer vagina in here? 1754 01:38:14,421 --> 01:38:15,547 My poor car. 1755 01:38:15,890 --> 01:38:18,358 Right now the streets are a bloodbath. 1756 01:38:18,459 --> 01:38:21,553 And, statistically speaking, there's about 30 kids in here, 1757 01:38:21,662 --> 01:38:23,653 10 of you are gonna be dead before your next birthday. 1758 01:38:23,964 --> 01:38:27,024 Got a couple of tips, help you guys stay out of jail. 1759 01:38:27,134 --> 01:38:31,366 One, try your hardest to not be black or Hispanic. 1760 01:38:31,472 --> 01:38:33,702 - It's a good tip. - Yeah. Two... 1761 01:38:33,807 --> 01:38:35,104 Gentlemen, we got a hot one. 1762 01:38:35,175 --> 01:38:38,804 Hoitz and Gamble have Ershon hostage, high-speed car chase in progress. 1763 01:38:38,879 --> 01:38:40,847 Yes! Gun, gun! 1764 01:38:40,948 --> 01:38:42,882 Pass up the guns. Pass them up. Let's go, people. 1765 01:38:42,983 --> 01:38:44,610 There we go. Anything, any Tasers? No? 1766 01:38:44,685 --> 01:38:46,118 Good. Who wants to go on a ride-along? 1767 01:38:46,186 --> 01:38:47,653 I do! 1768 01:38:48,155 --> 01:38:49,520 All right, you, sweetie. Come on, let's go. Move. 1769 01:38:49,623 --> 01:38:50,817 - Move! Let's go. - Come on! 1770 01:39:01,368 --> 01:39:04,235 Cool, a helicopter! Must be covering the high-speed chase. 1771 01:39:09,510 --> 01:39:10,875 Jesus! 1772 01:39:15,716 --> 01:39:18,514 - Who are those guys? - They're Chechen investors. 1773 01:39:18,585 --> 01:39:21,645 We were gonna do a Chechen version of Dora the Explorer. 1774 01:39:21,722 --> 01:39:23,314 Anyway, it went terribly wrong. 1775 01:39:26,493 --> 01:39:28,688 I feel like it's not fair that they have a helicopter! 1776 01:39:29,697 --> 01:39:30,755 Oh, no. 1777 01:39:32,166 --> 01:39:33,224 Damn it. 1778 01:39:37,104 --> 01:39:39,572 Watch your head. God, your hair is soft. 1779 01:39:39,673 --> 01:39:41,106 V05 Hot Oil. 1780 01:39:44,445 --> 01:39:46,743 You're gonna wreck! There's cars coming from both directions! 1781 01:39:46,847 --> 01:39:47,939 I'm not gonna wreck! 1782 01:39:49,917 --> 01:39:51,680 - I'm gonna wreck! You're right! - You want me to drive? 1783 01:40:11,705 --> 01:40:14,367 - This was a very clever idea. - Yeah. 1784 01:40:26,453 --> 01:40:27,750 They're gone. 1785 01:40:29,156 --> 01:40:30,248 Let's go. 1786 01:40:42,569 --> 01:40:46,005 They are Nigerians. Yeah, I'd forgotten about them. 1787 01:40:53,881 --> 01:40:55,109 - This is a shortcut. - Are you kidding me? 1788 01:40:55,182 --> 01:40:56,410 You cannot go down there. 1789 01:41:04,324 --> 01:41:05,814 What are you doing? 1790 01:41:12,032 --> 01:41:13,124 Hit him! 1791 01:41:20,841 --> 01:41:22,206 - Where are we? - Chelsea Pier. 1792 01:41:28,682 --> 01:41:29,774 What the hell? 1793 01:41:31,118 --> 01:41:32,176 Jesus! 1794 01:41:39,560 --> 01:41:41,391 Them having a helicopter is definitely cheating. 1795 01:41:42,162 --> 01:41:43,220 Go! 1796 01:41:48,368 --> 01:41:49,460 Come on! 1797 01:41:51,338 --> 01:41:52,896 We're cops! Hit the chopper! 1798 01:42:15,829 --> 01:42:18,696 This is Martin and Fosse, en route. Back off! This is our collar! 1799 01:42:20,534 --> 01:42:23,196 Set up a perimeter. No arrests until we get there! 1800 01:42:23,504 --> 01:42:24,562 Take the light! 1801 01:42:44,758 --> 01:42:46,282 Do not authorize that transfer. 1802 01:42:46,393 --> 01:42:47,951 This is David Ershon. The transfer is for him. 1803 01:42:48,061 --> 01:42:50,461 He will tell you not to authorize it, okay? Tell him. 1804 01:42:50,564 --> 01:42:53,192 - Tell him! - Yeah, do as they say. Stop the transfer. 1805 01:42:53,267 --> 01:42:54,234 Approve it. 1806 01:42:55,802 --> 01:42:56,894 Now. 1807 01:42:56,970 --> 01:42:58,562 Do not touch anything! 1808 01:42:58,972 --> 01:43:01,236 I swear to God I'll blow your head all over this desk. 1809 01:43:01,308 --> 01:43:03,742 Not a person in this room believes you'll shoot this clerk. 1810 01:43:03,810 --> 01:43:04,902 Yeah? 1811 01:43:06,280 --> 01:43:09,772 Thank you so much, gentlemen, for the prompt delivery of Mr. Ershon. 1812 01:43:09,883 --> 01:43:13,284 I have two competing bids from jilted investors. 1813 01:43:13,987 --> 01:43:16,217 They're at 30 million, and holding. 1814 01:43:16,924 --> 01:43:18,892 - Wait! Can't you let me... - Take him away. 1815 01:43:19,459 --> 01:43:20,983 But computers. 1816 01:43:23,163 --> 01:43:26,564 What if, one day, they were in charge? 1817 01:43:28,135 --> 01:43:32,231 Now if you don't shut up, I will cut your ear off with a butter knife. 1818 01:43:32,306 --> 01:43:34,399 That's blunt. Blunt's worse than if it's sharp. 1819 01:43:34,474 --> 01:43:35,736 Now! 1820 01:43:42,783 --> 01:43:43,943 You just stood there! 1821 01:43:44,051 --> 01:43:46,815 I didn't know that "now" meant that. How am I supposed to know that? 1822 01:43:46,920 --> 01:43:48,785 - I knew what that meant. - Shut up. 1823 01:43:48,889 --> 01:43:51,915 You kill us and you kill Ershon. You're out 30 million dollars. 1824 01:43:51,992 --> 01:43:54,085 - Who's got the golden goose now, huh? - Yeah. 1825 01:43:58,131 --> 01:43:59,723 Shit! 1826 01:44:00,400 --> 01:44:02,561 He's still valuable with a bullet wound, mate. 1827 01:44:02,636 --> 01:44:04,501 He immediately called your bluff. 1828 01:44:04,605 --> 01:44:06,436 Get up. And kill the police. 1829 01:44:06,506 --> 01:44:07,973 I just wanna make sure I get it right. 1830 01:44:08,075 --> 01:44:11,476 Did you want this transfer approved or not approved? 1831 01:44:11,945 --> 01:44:14,311 You, mate, I'm gonna kill just for fun. 1832 01:44:15,849 --> 01:44:18,647 Police, don't move! Drop your weapons! 1833 01:44:18,752 --> 01:44:21,687 Drop it, or be dropped, homeboy! 1834 01:44:21,755 --> 01:44:24,690 I hope you like the taste of prison food and penis. 1835 01:44:24,791 --> 01:44:27,555 - Police! Down on the ground! - Let me see your hands! 1836 01:44:35,369 --> 01:44:37,735 - Hey, hey, you okay? - Hey. 1837 01:44:38,639 --> 01:44:41,005 Hey, Gene. Captain. I'm sorry. 1838 01:44:41,308 --> 01:44:43,003 - I'm sorry. - That's okay. Don't worry about it. 1839 01:44:43,076 --> 01:44:44,475 You can call me Gene when we're not in the office. 1840 01:44:45,045 --> 01:44:47,172 Okay. Thanks for coming by. 1841 01:44:47,247 --> 01:44:49,340 Attaboy. 1842 01:44:49,416 --> 01:44:51,475 Come on, stay with me. Stay with me. 1843 01:44:51,718 --> 01:44:54,312 We're losing him! We're losing him! He's dying! 1844 01:44:55,055 --> 01:44:58,388 No. No, no, no, no. I'm just resting. I'm just resting. I was just resting. 1845 01:44:58,492 --> 01:45:00,653 I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? 1846 01:45:00,727 --> 01:45:02,251 - Are you all right? - Just resting. 1847 01:45:02,362 --> 01:45:03,761 Hey, let me tell you something. 1848 01:45:03,864 --> 01:45:06,697 As far as paperwork goes, we'll take care of it. 1849 01:45:07,034 --> 01:45:08,592 - You know why? - Why? 1850 01:45:08,702 --> 01:45:10,192 Ain't too proud to beg. 1851 01:45:10,837 --> 01:45:12,031 Come on. 1852 01:45:12,105 --> 01:45:13,936 - What? - It's not funny anymore. 1853 01:45:14,041 --> 01:45:16,566 - I don't know what you're talking about. - TLC references. 1854 01:45:16,677 --> 01:45:18,668 Still nothing. I swear to you. 1855 01:45:19,012 --> 01:45:24,348 I'm gonna go over and check on Terry. I got a bad knee. Hold on. There you go. 1856 01:45:24,418 --> 01:45:27,216 It was the king of the mutt cases, 1857 01:45:27,287 --> 01:45:30,415 but Allen and Terry had worked it like stars. 1858 01:45:33,293 --> 01:45:36,421 Within 24 hours of learning about Ershon's scheme 1859 01:45:36,530 --> 01:45:38,555 and Lendl's massive losses, 1860 01:45:38,632 --> 01:45:41,362 the government issued TARP funds to bail out Lendl. 1861 01:45:41,435 --> 01:45:45,963 Lendl is in everything, and we're gonna go everywhere... 1862 01:45:46,073 --> 01:45:47,404 They were too big to fail. 1863 01:45:47,974 --> 01:45:53,139 Ershon now resides in Palomino Federal Correctional Facility in Florida. 1864 01:45:53,246 --> 01:45:56,306 He still invests. Currency's just different. 1865 01:45:57,384 --> 01:45:59,784 Roger Wesley was linked to the Beaman murder 1866 01:45:59,886 --> 01:46:03,686 by security cam footage which Martin and Fosse hadn't checked. 1867 01:46:03,757 --> 01:46:05,588 It only showed the back of their heads. 1868 01:46:05,692 --> 01:46:09,788 But Allen's Faceback app was able to get a match to their faces. 1869 01:46:10,263 --> 01:46:12,128 Terry married Francine. 1870 01:46:12,232 --> 01:46:15,201 He played harp at the reception and it was beautiful. 1871 01:46:15,268 --> 01:46:16,792 He had learned how to play it in the eighth grade 1872 01:46:16,903 --> 01:46:20,270 to make fun of the fairy that lived up the street. 1873 01:46:20,374 --> 01:46:23,866 Terry asked Sheila to be his best man, but she declined. 1874 01:46:24,144 --> 01:46:28,376 Let's be honest, we all wanna be superstars and hotshots. 1875 01:46:28,448 --> 01:46:29,676 But guess what? 1876 01:46:29,750 --> 01:46:33,242 The people that do the real work, the ones that make the difference, 1877 01:46:33,520 --> 01:46:36,512 you don't see them on TV or on the front page. 1878 01:46:37,157 --> 01:46:40,615 I'm talking about the day-in, day-outers, the grinders. 1879 01:46:40,761 --> 01:46:43,889 Come on, man, you know who - The other guys. 1880 01:46:43,964 --> 01:46:45,124 - See? That's a no-go. - Hey, hey. 1881 01:46:45,899 --> 01:46:47,890 You think you broke this Ershon case open? 1882 01:46:48,301 --> 01:46:49,529 You did nothing. 1883 01:46:49,936 --> 01:46:51,528 Corporate lobbyists are spending millions 1884 01:46:51,605 --> 01:46:53,869 to make sure guys like Ershon keep doing what they do. 1885 01:46:54,741 --> 01:46:55,730 Derek Jeter? 1886 01:46:57,144 --> 01:47:00,238 Yeah, it's me. You were set up that night you shot me, Terry. 1887 01:47:00,547 --> 01:47:03,345 - I told you! - They knew by putting someone like you 1888 01:47:03,417 --> 01:47:06,386 with a quick trigger finger next to that door where I do my pre-game walk, 1889 01:47:06,553 --> 01:47:08,919 it'd end up bad. Bad for both of us. 1890 01:47:09,456 --> 01:47:11,549 Now, I've been doing my own investigation on the banking industry, 1891 01:47:11,691 --> 01:47:13,750 and I was close. I was real close. 1892 01:47:14,161 --> 01:47:15,321 So I forgive you, Terry. 1893 01:47:15,896 --> 01:47:17,989 I appreciate that, man. I'm sorry about what happened. 1894 01:47:18,765 --> 01:47:19,754 I'm glad you're doing better. 1895 01:47:20,233 --> 01:47:22,531 The whole damn system is clogged up with dirty money. 1896 01:47:23,136 --> 01:47:26,367 And the news doesn't say a word about it. 'Cause who owns them? 1897 01:47:26,540 --> 01:47:28,974 The same corporations that own the government. 1898 01:47:29,576 --> 01:47:31,271 Courts and the law is all we have left. 1899 01:47:32,612 --> 01:47:34,045 So here's you guys' next case. 1900 01:47:35,182 --> 01:47:38,083 Guy by the name of Carl Bachand, CEO of Killister Bank. 1901 01:47:38,718 --> 01:47:42,552 He took three billion in TARP funds. He's crooked. He's real crooked. 1902 01:47:43,089 --> 01:47:47,685 Take him down, but be careful. He's got Blackwater mercenaries 24l7. 1903 01:47:48,728 --> 01:47:49,888 Thanks, Derek. 1904 01:47:51,198 --> 01:47:53,325 Hey, Derek! Wait! What if we need to get in touch with you, 1905 01:47:53,400 --> 01:47:55,766 get some more information or some tickets or something? 1906 01:47:56,503 --> 01:47:57,663 What just happened? 1907 01:48:00,507 --> 01:48:03,601 Goldman Sachs. This case is gonna be nasty. 1908 01:48:06,279 --> 01:48:07,974 Hi. Cute glasses. 1909 01:48:08,982 --> 01:48:10,950 - What was that? - What? 1910 01:48:11,017 --> 01:48:14,646 What? Dude, what is it with you and hot ladies? What's your secret? 1911 01:48:14,721 --> 01:48:17,383 Honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about. 1912 01:48:17,491 --> 01:48:19,516 Tell me who you lost your virginity to. 1913 01:48:19,626 --> 01:48:22,652 She actually became a TV actress. Heather Locklear. 1914 01:48:22,729 --> 01:48:24,390 Heather Locklear, what? 1915 01:48:24,498 --> 01:48:26,125 - You've heard of her? - Come on! 1916 01:48:26,199 --> 01:48:29,999 - She was much chubbier back then. - I don't get it. I really, I don't get it. 1917 01:53:30,904 --> 01:53:32,565 That was you. You don't have a sense of humor. 1918 01:53:32,672 --> 01:53:34,139 I do... I have a wonderful sense of humor. 1919 01:53:34,641 --> 01:53:36,199 If you say something funny, I'll laugh. 1920 01:53:36,276 --> 01:53:38,972 - All right, I'm gonna tell you a great joke. - Please. I love jokes. 1921 01:53:39,112 --> 01:53:41,672 All right. Little boy on his 13th birthday. 1922 01:53:43,082 --> 01:53:46,210 - It's time to get laid. - Already feels inappropriate. 1923 01:53:46,519 --> 01:53:48,282 So he goes to the lady at the whorehouse, he goes, " Miss, 1924 01:53:48,655 --> 01:53:51,818 "look, I know usually you want money, but I don't have any money and it's my birthday. 1925 01:53:52,158 --> 01:53:53,921 "Do you think I could have sex with you for this duck?" 1926 01:53:54,460 --> 01:53:56,655 - Was he a farmer? - No. 1927 01:53:56,863 --> 01:54:01,163 That's probably a Health Code violation, bringing a duck into a place of prostitution. 1928 01:54:01,601 --> 01:54:03,159 They weren't gonna have sex with the duck! 1929 01:54:03,436 --> 01:54:05,199 No, I just mean Health Code violation 1930 01:54:05,271 --> 01:54:08,866 to have the duck brought into a facility like that. 1931 01:54:10,376 --> 01:54:12,537 So, anyway, she says, "Yes, I'll do it." 1932 01:54:13,079 --> 01:54:15,513 So he goes in there, gives it to her. 1933 01:54:16,082 --> 01:54:19,245 - He gives her what? - The high, hard one! She loves it. 1934 01:54:19,519 --> 01:54:22,511 She goes, "You know what? If you do that again, I'll give you your duck back." 1935 01:54:22,856 --> 01:54:24,790 - It's like getting laid twice for free. - So... I'm sorry. 1936 01:54:24,858 --> 01:54:25,984 I'm so sorry. 1937 01:54:26,292 --> 01:54:30,228 - The duck is payment for sexual intercourse. - Yes. Yes. 1938 01:54:30,396 --> 01:54:31,556 - Very good. - He used the duck as payment, 1939 01:54:31,631 --> 01:54:33,223 and now he's being paid back the duck. 1940 01:54:33,666 --> 01:54:36,760 He goes, "Oh, my God, this is the greatest birthday ever." He does it again. 1941 01:54:37,070 --> 01:54:40,631 - Now he's walking home, right? Walking... - So she was satisfied with duck. 1942 01:54:40,940 --> 01:54:42,931 - With a duck as currency... - Yes. 1943 01:54:43,009 --> 01:54:45,477 ...to her. Great. Good. 1944 01:54:45,812 --> 01:54:49,543 So he's walking home, now he can't wait to get home to tell his father. Right? 1945 01:54:49,916 --> 01:54:52,077 He's walking down the street with the duck, and all of a sudden, voom, 1946 01:54:52,151 --> 01:54:53,550 truck comes by and runs over his duck. 1947 01:54:53,653 --> 01:54:55,052 - Kills the duck? - Killed the duck. 1948 01:54:55,121 --> 01:54:57,282 - So the duck is now dead. - The duck is dead. 1949 01:54:57,757 --> 01:55:01,056 The kid starts crying, truck driver stops, he's all upset, he didn't mean... 1950 01:55:01,227 --> 01:55:04,355 Of course he's crying! He's a 13-year-old boy who's just had sex, twice, 1951 01:55:04,530 --> 01:55:07,988 - and he watched his beloved duck die. - Will you shut up and let me tell the story? 1952 01:55:08,167 --> 01:55:10,067 So far, I don't know how this is ever gonna be funny. 1953 01:55:10,370 --> 01:55:12,838 The guy feels so bad about killing the duck, he gives him two dollars. 1954 01:55:13,206 --> 01:55:14,537 And the kid's happy with the two bucks? 1955 01:55:15,041 --> 01:55:18,499 He's ecstatic! He got laid twice, and now he's got two dollars on top of it. 1956 01:55:18,578 --> 01:55:21,046 Seems like a duck would be worth a lot more than two dollars. 1957 01:55:22,215 --> 01:55:23,739 This was a while back. You what I'm... 1958 01:55:24,150 --> 01:55:26,641 So he goes home, his dad goes, "What happened? What happened? 1959 01:55:26,719 --> 01:55:30,177 "Tell me! Tell me!" He goes, "Dad, I got a fuck for the duck, 1960 01:55:30,323 --> 01:55:31,847 "I got a duck for the fuck, 1961 01:55:31,925 --> 01:55:33,688 "and I got two bucks for a fucked-up duck!" 1962 01:55:36,763 --> 01:55:37,991 So it's like a limerick. 1963 01:55:39,198 --> 01:55:40,426 You didn't think that was funny? 1964 01:55:40,900 --> 01:55:42,765 I thought it was entertaining at the end, sure, 1965 01:55:43,469 --> 01:55:45,232 the way all the words were put together, 1966 01:55:45,305 --> 01:55:46,863 but in terms of content? 1967 01:55:48,508 --> 01:55:49,600 No. 1968 01:55:52,812 --> 01:55:56,441 Get the check-check from Shen-Shen. Let's get out of here. 1969 01:56:01,654 --> 01:56:05,852 Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. 1970 01:56:06,326 --> 01:56:07,350 And cut.